My Ashtray Heart
by asdfghjklb
Summary: Damon and Elena go to highschool together. Elena is dating a jerk and Damon's the highschool player who hates that Katherine's double gets treated like trash. What happens when they officially meet each other and become best friends? AU. Damon/Elena.
1. Feel so low, you cant feel nothin at all

_**"The minute people fall in love, they become liars." **_

_**-Harlan Ellison**_

_**EPOV**_

Elena Gilbert. I'm your average lonely teenager. Every day I go to school and fly under the radar of everyone who is there. I don't have any friends at my school. I used to be a little social butterfly but when my parents died, I died too and in my time of need everyone abandoned me because the world moves on. I became a different person when they died. I became pretty heartless to everyone around me and I believe no one really understood why. I would hurt other people because I couldn't hurt. It's hard to feel when all you feel is numb. I envied the people that I hurt. I didn't know anyone who went through the same thing. That's when I started to be an outcast. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I'm not bitter anymore though. I was done with taking it out on everyone else. That's when I met Dylan. Dylan came into my life and changed everything. He met me one day in the park and I felt attracted to him for his slick words and bad boy image. Its been three months that we have been together. I don't love him, never could. I love what he does to me. See the numb feeling goes away whenever I'm around him. Maybe not for the best reasons, but the outcome is the same, I feel again. But Dylan wasn't the best guy in the world. He was a cold person. He treated me like trash and I was beneath him. To tell you the truth I hated it but loved that I actually felt hate towards something. One day he would be so kind and make me feel special again, just for the tiniest moment and then he ruins it. He pushes me around, calls me names, and can pretty much tear me to shreds. The sad part is he does it in public and no one even says a thing. I knew I had a reputation as the girl who is stupid for staying with a guy like Dylan. But I knew what I had to do, I have to feel and if you don't understand that you wont understand my story.

I was sitting on my front porch waiting for Dylan to come pick me up for school. He was running about ten minutes late. Five minutes later I decided he wasn't coming after all. I walked to school with my head down. I was already sick and tired of this day. Sometimes I just want to crawl out of my skin. I was tired of hating the day before it even started. I was tired of making it through each day and not actually living. But I had no choice in the situation. I ached for Dylan to be here. To make me feel. But once again he didn't show up. I guess I could just use that. Be mad at him for disappointing me yet again and not even telling me he couldn't take me to school when just last night he promised me he'd be here.

I rounded the corner and came into view of my school. There it was packed with people who don't even know I exist anymore. I sighed and picked up my pace not wanting to be late. I walked through the parking lot searching for Dylan, he should be around somewhere. I found him in the corner of the school with a bunch of his friends. His friends scared me but I'd never tell him that. I walked up to them taking a deep breath prepared for what this day brings.

"Hey babe." Dylan turned and looked me up and down. He didn't say anything just wrapped his arm around me and went back to paying attention to what his friend was saying. They were taking about how hot some girl looked today and making bets who could get with her first. I wasn't paying attention just looking around the front of the school. I didn't notice Dylan's friends all leave and it was just Dylan and I.

" What are you wearing?" I turned my attention back to Dylan.

" What?" he looked me up and down again and I immediately felt self-conscience. I regretted wearing a simple sweater and jeans.

"You could at least look nice so I could having someone hot to show off to my friends. Seriously Elena put a little bit more effort into it." We started walking into the school and I had my head down low.

" Sorry." I mumbled. We went for his locker that we shared. I grabbed my book for my first class and gave Dylan a kiss on the cheek and went my own way. I was walking down the hallway and I heard the bell ring, everyone scattered through the halls running off to class. I was about to head into mine when I realized I grabbed the wrong book. I moaned and went back to my locker. I messed with the lock a couple of times. Every once in a while it gets jammed. I banged on it and it finally popped open. I smiled at the victory and grabbed my book. I rushed off down the hall way and turned the corner. Not paying attention I ran into someone and fell right on my ass. A little surprised by the sudden collision I looked up and saw Damon Salvatore's shocked face. Damon was by far the hottest guy in school. He was the guy who drove the best car, dated a different chick each week, and was known for his cocky attitude. This week he was dating Caroline Forbes, one of my old best friends. But that all changed.

" Woah, didn't see you there." Damon smirked and grabbed my book while holding out his hand for me. I grabbed it and felt a little better at the warmth that was behind it. When I stood up he handed me my book. "My, my Elena you're looking awfully beautiful today" I smiled. I didn't even know this guy knew my name. I immediately shook myself at the thought that he probably says that to almost every girl he runs into. But it was nice to know somebody thought I wasn't the most hideous thing that walked these halls.

"Thanks. I swear sometimes I must be invisible." I timidly tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"Not to me. Well we should get to class." I walked around him and started my way down the hall when I heard him again.

"Elena!" I turned around to see him walking backwards down the hall. "I'll be seeing you." He then turned around walking to his class. I blushed. I didn't think he'd give me the time of day. I'm sure if Dylan saw this whole exchange he would flip out. I grinned at the thought. Maybe a little payback for all the shit he has put me through, but he will never know. He has issues with me talking to other guys. We've never really had a problem with that because I don't talk to anyone else. I sighed and walked into class pushing all of those thoughts away.

_**DPOV. **_

Why do I do this? Why do I put myself through all of this bullshit? I hate this town. I hate these ignorant people. They're just as annoying as they were back in 1864. I can't wait till I get this done and over with. I had a diabolical master plan that forced me to live the life of high school student. How low of me? The first day of being caged in a classroom I did find out I got a little extra bonus to this ruse of mine. I went in my class room and there she was, Katherine was sitting right next to me. At first I stared at her with my mouth open in shock, when I finally realized that this girl was human I mentally shook myself at the thought of Katherine not being in the tomb. What a ridiculous thought. I studied the girl trying to find out how the hell she looked like Katherine. After all I have researched the Pierce family ended with Katherine. The girl turned around and saw me looking at her. She had no emotion on her face, there were black rings under her eyes and she looked half dead. She definitely didn't hold herself as well as Katherine did. I had to ignore this girl. She would mostly distract me from saving Katherine.

I slid into my car right away in the morning. Today was just another day of playing 'I'm a highschool student'. I had to go pick up Caroline. When I found out she was the sheriff's daughter, she had to be my next conquest. She kept tabs on everyone for me, without even knowing it. When I pulled up to her house she practically ran to my car. I rolled my eyes and tried my best to stay nice to her. Her mother had her doped up with vervain so if I had an outburst she would remember it. Great. What's the point of having these powers if they can simply be taken away? I drove off to school as Caroline rambled on and on. When we pulled up to my usual parking space all eyes were on us as usual. Small town people can be creepy with there open stares. I got out of the car and did what I do everyday. Find Katherines double, Elena Gilbert. I stayed my distance from her, never saying a word but I did some digging on her. I was so curious about her. How could I not be?

I found her with her ass of a boyfriend. He didn't even pay attention to her when she walked up to him. Now that is a guy who doesn't realize what he has. Caroline walked next to me and leaned against the car just like I was. I absentmindedly put my arm around her and watched Elena. All of her boyfriends little friends walked away and it was just them. I used my special hearing and listened to there conversation.

"You could at least look nice so I could having someone hot to show off to my friends. Seriously Elena put a little bit more effort into it."

Anger filled me to the core. No one speaks to my Elena like that. She serves to be respected and if I had to beat that into her boyfriend I would. I pushed off the car ready to go punch him out when Caroline tugged at my arm and I realized what I was doing. I had to control myself. The only reason why I cared so much was because she looked like Katherine. Yea, Katherine. I turned my attention back to Caroline as she looked at me confused. I shrugged it off and we walked into the building. I walked Caroline to her locker then did my best to ditch her without her actually noticing. I got out of her sight and the bell rang. My class was on the other end of the school but I took my sweet time getting there. I was walking around the corner when someone soft and warm pushed right into me and fell backward.

"Woah, I didn't see you there." I was a little surprised but that went away quickly when I saw who I ran into. I couldn't control the smile that swept across my face at seeing her. I've never talked to her before so at the same time I was contemplating what I should say. I grabbed her book and held out my hand trying to be a gentleman even though it wasn't really in me. "My, my Elena you're looking awfully beautiful today" I couldn't control the words that were coming out of my mouth. I usually just say the first thing that came to mind, but with her I have to be more careful. But she did look breath taking.

"Thanks. I swear sometimes I must be invisible." By her reaction I could tell she wasn't used to compliments. It made me frown, a girl like Elena deserves to be showered with compliments.

" Not to me." This girl definitely stood out then all the rest. I had to get out of here before I started to seem creepy. She doesn't even know me. "Well we should get to class." We walked off in our separate directions. I couldn't help myself I had to say something. I had to know how she would react. "Elena!" When she looked back to me I had to smile. "I'll be seeing you." I turned around when I saw her blush. She blushed! That means I had some affect. Oh what have I become? I mentally shook myself, she will get me distracted. She was dangerous, definitely dangerous.

_**AN: So I definitely shouldn't be adding another story to the list I have going on but I couldn't help myself. Tell me what you think.**_

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	2. I always find somethin' wrong

_**"In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present."**_

_**-Francis Bacon**_

DPOV

I bit into the neck of some random chick I brought home with me. I met her while getting coffee this morning and I couldn't help myself, I was starving. I felt the need to drink and drink in till I was fully satisfied, I'm never satisfied. The heavenly liquid trickled down my throat in till I felt the girl go slack in my arms. I dropped her to the floor not wanting to take anymore. Murder wasn't my intention. I smirked at the passed out girl on my rug. I think I took too much. I stepped over her and walked to my stash of whiskey. I filled my glass up and waltzed over to my chair in front of the fireplace. I took a sip of my bourbon and sighed. Nothing like a 8a.m. drink to start out the day. This is the good life.

As much as I kept telling myself this is how things were supposed to be, I couldn't stop the emptiness in my chest telling me that this lifestyle was such a lie. That I actually wanted someone to sit next to me, sipping on tea while I drank my usual bourbon and we would talk about how we would spent eternity together and gaze into the fire, knowing that this right here was enough. Instead of having a random stranger lay on my floor till they woke up and I sent them away with the memories of me rocking there world. I couldn't wait till I had Katherine back. To have someone who gets me, and understands how lonely this world can be. Oh god, I'm such a sap. It was getting harder and harder to switch off my emotions and innocent heart broken Damon appeared. I hated that part of myself.

I jumped off from my chair and looked at the girl that was at my feet. I nudged her with my foot a bit and when I heard her moan I knew she would be fine. I picked her up and threw her on the couch. I'll take care of her later. I went for the door and planned on going to get Caroline and go on with my usual morning.

When we pulled up to school we went straight in the building. I scanned over the many faces that walked the halls looking for the one that was all too familiar. I didn't see her and it made me a tad worried. Usually I would find her right away. It's like I had a sixth sense for her. Caroline was leaning against the lockers texting someone and I unconsciously put my arm up next to her head leaning against the lockers. I was still searching the halls when I found her. She made eye contact with me and I nodded in her direction. She gave me a little smile and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. My attention was pulled back to Caroline as she grabbed my jaw to look at her. I looked at her with my eyes wide. I must be in trouble.

"What's with you and that girl?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"Don't play dumb. I haven't said anything before but I see you staring at her all the time." She put her head down ashamed. "It's constantly making me feel inferior to her and you don't even know her. I've never seen you talk to her. Am I really that unbearable for you that you have to keep tabs on other girls so you have a next lineup the day you decide I'm not good enough?". I actually felt bad. I have no interest in this Caroline girl, but the fact the she was so insecure made me want to change my plans. But then my selfish side kicked in and reminded me that these people in this town mean nothing to me. Caroline will move on. This Elena girl will live happily with her dick of a boyfriend and I will have Katherine. The town will go on with life and forget that I ever existed. I put my arm around Caroline trying to comfort her instead of saying words that I could never truthfully mean. She sighed and leaned into my chest. I just have to keep up with this facade a little longer. The bell rang and Caroline kissed me quick and walked off in the direction of her class.

School went so slow today. I just walked out of my last class of the day and I felt the ache in my gums and all I wanted to do was tear in some flesh and take the desire for blood away. I don't know what has been going on with me lately but I've been so hungry. Actually hungry would be an understatement, I was ravenous. The hungrier I got the more exhausted I became. I went back to my locker, ugh one year ago I never would of thought I'd have a locker. Caroline came prancing up to me smiling.

"Pick me up after practice?"

"Like always."

" Aww, your the best boyfriend anyone could ask for." I smiled at her. I highly doubt that. If she didn't have vervain on her it would be a completely different story, but I needed to be in good gracious with her mother. I couldn't have her suspecting me of anything and as long as I was her daughters perfect boyfriend I highly doubt she would be running down the streets screaming vampire and pointing in my direction.

Caroline walked away and I was left alone. The hallway was growing empty and when I turned around I saw Elena walking to Dylan. I listened into there conversation, not caring that I was being nosey.

" Hey D, can you take me home?"

"Elena you already know I play pool with the guys after school."

"I know and I'm sorry, I just thought you could drop me off on the way." I watched as she smiled convincingly at him. I don't know how he could resist that smile. I knew I would melt if that was aimed at me.

" Find another way home, I'm busy. I'll call you tonight." He gave her a brief kiss and went with his friends leaving her there alone. She sighed in obvious disappointment and went out the school doors. I quickly shut my locker running after her. She was in the parking lot and I caught up to her walking at her pace.

" Hello Elena, Where are you heading?" She looked at me clearly surprised that I just showed up out of nowhere.

" Home."

" I could give you a lift, if you want." She stopped walking and looked at me. I expected her to be politely decline but I could see the light dark circles under her eyes.

" Sure." She shrugged and we walked to my car. We got into my car and I saw her yawn. She must be as tired as I was. "So why aren't you taking Caroline home?"

" Cheer Practice."

" Oh yea I should of known. I was a cheerleader all freshmen and sophomore year." What! Elena a cheerleader? I would of never of guessed.

" You where? That doesn't seem like you at all." She laughed a little.

" Don't act like it's the biggest shock you've ever heard of."

" Why aren't you doing it anymore?" I asked out of pure curiosity.

" I used to love it, then I didn't love it anymore." We were driving down a main road and she looked out the window. "Oh and to get to my house just take a left at the next stop sign and two blocks down is my street." I nodded taking in the information even though I already knew where she lived. About a minute later we pulled up to her house and I realized my mistake, she didn't tell me what house was hers and she looked at me suspiciously.

" I guessed." I said while trying to defend myself. She laughed and shook her head.

" There is something strange about you." She unbuckled her seat belt and was about to open the door. I suddenly felt a need to be around her and didn't want her to leave.

"Wait a second." I jumped out of the car and ran around over to her side to open her door. It's about time some guy in her life showed her some manners.

" Wow, thanks. I don't think anyone has ever opened my door for me before." She stepped out and grabbed her bag. "Thanks for the ride also. Do you want to come in and hangout for a bit?"

" Sure, I need something to do before I have to go get Caroline." We walked up to her house and she went right in. I hesitantly stepped through the door, the invitation from the car must of let me through. Now I'll be able to come and go as much as I'd like to. I went right in making myself at home. I flopped down on her couch. Wow, it was comfortable. The daily events were taking a toll on me and I was still starving. "I'm so exhausted." I said while rubbing my eyes.

"Oh me too. I could barely make it through the day. I fell asleep in almost all my classes."

She went and sat down next to me on the couch and pulled her legs up to her chest. I smiled at the thought of her being so comfortable around me. "Do you want to watch a movie or something?" She flipped on the TV and before she could do anything I went for the remote, prying it from her hands. I must admit she put of a good fight. I smiled at the victory and turned on some random show. I felt her smack my arm and I let out a dramatic "Ow." We were only watching TV for a couple minutes when I felt myself drift off. I could tell she was sleepy too when I felt her put her head in my lap.

Two hours later I felt someone shaking me. I was coming to it and then I felt a slap to my face. My eyes flashed opened to see Elena giggling a bit.

"Why?" I said a bit mumbled by just waking up.

" You weren't waking up. It was my last resort. We fell asleep, you have to go get Caroline. Practice ended fifteen minutes ago." I looked at the clock to see she was right. Oh no! I jumped off the couch searching for my phone.

" Caroline is going to kill me!" I looked on the couch and Elena pulled my phone out of the couch cushion.

" Here." I grabbed my phone and went for her door. She followed and I stopped at her door. I quickly kissed her cheek. It was completely platonic but I still felt my heart speed up a little.

"See you tomorrow." I ran out to my car quickly driving off to the school. I pulled up to see a very angry Caroline sitting on the curb with her arms crossed. When she saw me she stood up and stomped to the car while slamming the door.

" You better have a good excuse." I could not tell her I was with Elena. That would just make her angrier.

" Babe, I fell asleep. I came right when I woke up and saw how late I was." She relaxed a little and I sighed knowing I was off the hook. We drove out to her house and I was battling with myself. I needed to eat, like now. If Caroline wasn't filled with vervain I would of pulled this car over pin her down and - I stopped my train of thought. That wasn't the best way to distract myself. We pulled up to her house and she got out not saying a word to me still mad but not as mad.

When she was safely inside I sped off, racing down the streets. When I pulled up to my house I cut the engine of my car off and was inside less then a second. The girl from before was sitting on the couch looking confused. I whipped my jacket off and strode over to her, grabbing her off the couch and bringing her neck to my face while burying my fangs into her soft flesh. I sighed in relief and sucked. I drank and my thoughts were filled with one thing. Elena.

_**AN: Thanks for everyone who took interest in this story :) At first this chapter was all EPOV but I had to change it because I wasn't diggin it. So I hope I did okay with Damon. **_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**Review!**_


	3. Don't go sell your soul for selfesteem

"_**Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call destiny." **_

_**-John Hobbes**_

EPOV

I was standing at Dylans and my locker trying to get it open. I've already tried two times and it wouldn't open. Dylan was standing impatiently beside me. I was twisting the lock and It didn't open again. Dylan huffed and pushed me out of the way. I had to catch my balance a bit.

"Can you do anything right?" He unlocked it right away and threw his books in. I slid my books in then he slammed it. He walked off down the hallway not even saying goodbye. Him and his friends were skipping for the rest of the day so I was left there alone.

It was lunch time at school. My biggest dilemma. I stood at the doors of the lunch room looking around at everybody. I had no idea where to go. I saw an empty table and quickly made my way over there. I sat down and opened my bag taking out my apple. I didn't want to eat anything else since Dylan said I was gaining weight. I didn't even notice but it made me even more self-conscious. I was about to take a bite out of it when surprisingly the chair next to me was pulled out. I looked over with my mouth still open and the apple by my mouth to see Damon sitting there. He looked at me then casually took a sip out of his water bottle like this was no big deal.

" Umm. Hey."

" Hows your day going" He said while leaning back in his chair and putting his feet on the one next to him.

" Horrible. Yours?"

" Exactly the same. Where is the boyfriend?" I sighed and leaned back in my chair too while twirling the stem of my apple.

"Skipped."

" Don't you know what your supposed to do with the stem of apples?" I stopped twirling the apple and looked at him confused. "Your supposed to do the abc's. Whatever letter it comes off on is the beginning of the name of the person that you're going to end up with."

"Yea, I know about that. I think the last time I did that was in Elementary school." I laughed a little and he took the apple out of my hands.

" A-B-C" he paused and got a grip on the apple. " D". He pulled the stem right off. "D for Damon!" He had a big smile on his face even though he totally cheated.

" Or D for Dylan." His smile fell, he obviously didn't think that through. I yanked the apple out of his hands and took a bite out of it.

"I'm pretty sure it was for Damon."

" If it upsets you that much then it can be D for Damon." I smiled while taking another bite from the apple.

" Good. Where is your lunch?" He grabbed my bag and looked in it. I pointed to the apple I was chewing and he gave me a disapproving look.

" I can't get fat. Dylan doesn't like that."

"No offense but I hate your boyfriend."

"You don't even know him." I said defensively.

"Elena it doesn't take much to see how big of an ass he is." That was true, but what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't defend my boyfriend?

" Well, it doesn't take much to see how much of a player you are. Poor Caroline." I stole his water bottle and took a sip of it.

"This is true. I'm a player." I almost choked on my water. Hey, at least he's honest about it. I looked at him shocked. "Don't give me that look. So what are you doing after school?"

" Going home then meeting Dylan later." I gave his water back.

"Sounds so lame. You should hangout with me."

" I should?"

"Yes, ditch psycho Dylan and hangout with amazing Damon."

" Okay now you're sounding like my brother, he refers to him as psycho Dylan."

" Your brother and I will be bestfriends." Surprisingly they probably would. The bell rang. I didn't even know how the time went so fast. Damon looked a little surprised lunch was over too. "Come on, lets get out of here." He grabbed my hand as I stood up. We snuck out the cafeteria doors heading to his car. We both got in fast not wanting to be caught.

"Your a bad influence on me."

"I'm a bad influence on everyone." We drove out of the school and went down a familiar road. A couple minutes we pulled up to the grill. I was thankful we came here because I was still starving. Maybe I'll get a nice salad. Eh. "Hungry?" It's almost like he can read me like a book sometimes. We walked into the grill and sat down at a booth.

"Now I'm going to make you order a giant burger with extra fries. No more of this starving yourself nonsense." I wasn't paying attention to him while I unconsciously grazed the room and I found the last person who I wanted to see. Dylan was over by the pool table leaning against the wall. My mouth dropped open and I ducked down a little. I looked back at Damon to see him completely oblivious. He was reading some add that was on the table. "I swear they couldn't get more-" He looked up and stopped talking as he saw my position. " What are you doing?" I sat up straight and nodded over to where Dylan was standing. He smirked and looked back to me. " You don't want them seeing you with me."

" You said it yourself, your a player and Dylan always thinks the worst of me." I looked over again at Dylan to see him make eye contact with me for a brief second and he went back to looking at something and then his head shot back up in disbelief. He dropped his pool stick and came right over to us.

"Salvatore?" I saw Damon look at Dylan unfazed by his attitude.

" Dylan, stop over reacting." I slid out of the both and put my hand on his chest trying to calm him down. He grabbed my hand harshly and pulled me out of the grill to outside. He grabbed onto my arms tightly and I squealed a little at the friction.

" Why are you here with him?"

" Where just friends. Dylan you're hurting me." I clawed at his hands but he didn't budge. "Stop lying. You're sneaking around behind my back."

" No I'm not. Dylan it's you, it's only been you. Just let me go." His grip tightened and I knew there would be bruises.

" Stop lying!" He started shaking me hard and before I knew it his grip was released and he was he was laying on his back on the ground. Damon was standing right next to me looking at Dylan.

" Don't you ever touch her like that again" Damon's voice was stern and deadly. Dylan leaned up and gave Damon a glare but Damon shot it right back at him. The look on Dylan's face surprised me, for a second he faltered. "Come on Elena." Damon turned in the direction of his car and I turned with him.

" Elena, if you leave with him we are done!" I looked back at Dylan conflicted on what to do. I can't lose Dylan, I'll go back to that place where I felt nothing. But I knew I'd be seeing him later and he would apologize and take it all back. I was positive about it. I looked back at Damon and walked with him leaving Dylan behind.

We got into his car and there was an awkward silence. After a couple of minutes I finally broke it. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

" Now am I allowed to hate him? "

" I guess. You know he really is a great guy when he wants to be. He just has a mean streak. I'm used to it by now."

" Elena you may act like your bulletproof and he may think that, but your not." I was looking at my hands not wanting to look at him. I was so embarrassed. I didn't want it to look like I could just be pushed around so easily. We pulled into an unfamiliar drive way. I looked up and around trying to pin it. I looked to Damon.

"My house."

"Oh." We got out of the car and I stared open mouthed at the amazing place. "I can't believe you live here." We walked inside and I looked all around.

" Do you want anything to drink?"

"Do you have any tea?" He nodded toward a room that I assumed was the kitchen. I was right. We walked in and he went through all the coverts and put a tea pot on the stove. "I bet Caroline loves it here. I bet she freaked out when she was first here, she likes places like this."

"How would you know? Caroline actually as never been here before." I lokoed at him shocked. Why wouldn't his girlfriend be here before?

"Caroline used to be my best friend."

"Oh I would of never of guessed from the way she talked about y-" I saw him catch himself and stop talking trying not to offend me. I really didn't care. I already know how things were. The tea whistle and Damon went to pour water into the cup. " So why aren't you guys friends anymore?"

"I was pretty nasty to her. It's my fault. When my parents died I took it out on my friends and she go the worst of it. I feel so bad now. " I saw his brow furrow.

"I didn't know about your parents. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. What about yours? They must be living the good life to afford a place like this." I looked around the kitchen again.

"They died a long time ago. It's just me, and my brother but I haven't spoken to him in a long time." I felt sadness rush through me. All this time I thought I was the only one in this town to know heartbreak like that but it seems that Damon must of gone though it too. I gave him a sympathetic look and he gave a weak smile back. "I'm not upset by it anymore. It was so long ago." He handed me my cup and he started walking to a room I saw when we came in. There was a giant fireplace and a big chair in front of it. I went for it and sat down while getting comfortable. I took a sip of my tea and I looked at Damon who was coming down the two steps that led into the room. He then stopped right in his tracks and stared at me looking shocked.

" What?"

"Nothing just something I was thinking about yesterday." He smiled and came and sat down on the chair next to me. We sat there and talked for what felt like hours and then I realized it was actually hours. The sky was getting dark and I figured I should be getting home.

" I should get home." I sat up from my chair stretching and surpassing a yawn.

Damon drove me home and dropped me off in front of my house. I walked up to my porch not expecting anyone to be there when someone came out of the shadows on my porch. I let out a little yelp in till I saw it was just Dylan. I took a deep breath and walked up the porch stairs to him. He stood there with flowers that looked picked from someones garden.

" Elena, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said." He stepped forward his eyes pleading. "I was just so mad at the thought of you with some other guy. Especially Damon Salvatore."

" I know Dylan. You just have to start trusting me more. I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship." I really wouldn't. I was going to lose my connection to the world for someone simple who wasn't going to stay in my life. I was too terrified to lose Dylan because then the emptiness came back and that was worse then anything I knew.

" I'm sorry Elena. I'm a fool. A stupid fool, but I love you." He wraped his arms around me and hugged him back.

" I love you too." I didn't mean it but I said it. That's how things were, and that's how it will always be.

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	4. Crush and crumble under your defenses

_**"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win."**_

_**-Stephen King**_

DPOV

I couldn't sleep at all last night. Morning came quickly and the girl next to me wasn't even moving. I nudged her with my elbow a couple times in till her messy bedhead shifted and her face lifted from my pillow. She looked at me with hooded eyes and was clearly hungover. We had our own little party last night and now I want to be alone.

"You can leave now." I gave her a fake smile and waited for her to get out of my bed already. When all she did was moan and shove her face back into the pillow I got annoyed fast and was tired of this. I was instantly up putting on some pants and went over on her side of the bed, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. She barely had any clothes on but I had no sympathy. I gave her a shot of leaving on her own. I headed towards the stairs and down to the door. I was planning on putting her in the front yard or something. I opened the door about to walk right out when I came face to face with Elena. Her mouth dropped open at the scene played out on front of her. She had two coffees in her hand and she didn't move from her position.

I was struck for words. What was I supposed to say, 'Oh Elena this isn't what it looks like. Dinner stayed over last night so I could have leftovers for breakfast. Caroline doesn't need to find out about this.' Well she did know I was a player, but this was probably more then she expected. I opened my mouth and closed it and we both stood there not knowing what to say. I slowly closed the door, ran up stairs threw the girl on my bed and put a shirt on then was back at he door in seconds. I opened it to find Elena in the same position.

"Elena! Heyyyy!" My voice was high trying to ease into a conversation, as if she didn't just witness that.

"I...ugh. I don't know what to say." There was another long silence. "Here, this is for you." She handed me the coffee that was in her left hand.

"So what are you doing here so early on a weekend?" I was thinking about inviting her in but that would be too awkward with her knowing there is some random girl around here somewhere.

" Well as you know tomorrow is the Founder's party, and I need a dress and wanted a guys opinion." She smiled at me and I already knew I couldn't resist her. She truly had me wrapped around her finger and didn't even know it. I stepped outside closing the door.

"No, you just want my opinion." I smirked when she blushed.

"What about your friend?"

"What friend?"

I was sitting on a fluffy couch in the back of some store at the mall as I waited for Elena to come out of the dressing room. I can't believe I am doing this. My girlfriend couldn't even convince me to go shopping, but here I am. Oh what have I done! I was in the middle checking out the girl who kept walking past me purposely bending over slowly to pick clothes off of the floor when Elena came out and all my attention landed on her. I felt my eyebrows shoot up and I resisted the urge to stand up and pin her against the wall and have my way with her. She looked way too sexy in the dress. The deep v neckline had me thinking of only one thing. I snapped out of it and realized I couldn't allow this. I was not going to let any other man have the same thoughts I was having right now. Not even her boyfriend, actually, especially not her boyfriend.

"That isn't the one." I forced the words out of my mouth and hated myself afterward.

"Really?" She spun around in the huge mirror that was in front of me. She was giving me a great view.

" Next one." She gave herself one last glance and sighed walking back into the dressing room. I took a deep breath and went back to starring at the average girl who was so desperate for attention, it was pathetic. It was five dresses later that I finally found a dress that wasn't too heart stopping. She still looked hot, and it was perfectly modest.

We were walking out of the mall when I noticed the sheriff walking in our direction. I panicked not knowing what to do. For a brief moment I thought about pushing Elena in the bushes and running away but then I realized I had to face this like a man. When Caroline's mom noticed me she smiled and headed in my direction.

"Damon. Coincidence seeing you here." She turned and it looked like the first time she noticed Elena. "Oh Elena, I haven't seen you around in a while. What are you two doing here?"

"I know it's been a long time." I could tell Elena was fake smiling and wanted to get out of here. "Damon here was just helping me find a dress for the founders party tomorrow."

" Oh yes, that's all Caroline is talking about. She so excited." Oh I forgot about her for a second.

"I'm excited too." I'm such a liar. We said our goodbyes and we got the hell out of there. We were back at Elena's and I was sitting on her bed as she put her dress away and walked around her room.

"So should I wear the blue or brown necklace." I studied each one, having no idea.

"Elena, I think you need some girl friends."

"I know but your all I have." She lifted up the necklaces again.

"Brown." She smiled and laid the brown necklace out on her dresser.

" Now shoes!" She ran off to her closest and I laughed at her as I jumped off the bed and looked around her room. I went over to her dresser staring at the photos she had up on her mirror. It was so strange. There was one of her in her cheerleading uniform smiling. I've never seen her smile like that. There were other photos of her and Caroline and some other familiar people. It was strange. All of these people never gave her a second glance at school and they all appeared to be once best friends. "I have no shoes!" I saw the look of panic on her face and I already knew where this was going. Shoe shopping.

It was the day of the Founder's party and I was already tired of people in general. I had to go pick up Caroline and put on my good boyfriend act which seemed impossible today. I pulled up to Caroline's house getting out of the car and heading up to the door. I knocked and the door opened seconds later.

"Wow, Caroline you look beautiful." I mentally rolled my eyes at how lame I was. She grabbed onto my arm and we went off to the party.

When we got there I waited at the door and Carol Lockwood ended up inviting me in. The moment I walked in my eyes landed on Elena who was chugging down a glass of _Champagne _. Even though I already saw her in the dress my breath hitched a little at the sight. I suddenly noticed Caroline wasn't at my side anymore. I didn't care. I walked up to Elena and looked at her suspiciously as she grabbed another glass of _Champagne _.

"Woah, by the end of the party your going to be flat on the floor." I took the glass out of her hands and she frowned. I had to admit the way her eyebrows drew together and the little upside down curve of her lips was adorable. "What's going on?"

" Dylan didn't show up to get me. I put all this effort into getting the perfect dress, doing my hair and makeup and he doesn't even have the decency to show up when he knew how important this was to me." She grabbed the glass from my hand and took a sip. Figures this would happen.

"Would you like to dance?" I wanted to get her mind off of Dylan. She put the glass down hard on the table and took my hand leading to the dance floor. There was a slow song playing and the moment we went to put our hands in the right position, Caroline showed up out of nowhere.

"Damon what are you doing?" I shut my eyes, doing my best to not kill her in front of all these people. Elena let go off my hand. I opened my eyes to see her smiling at Caroline and motioning to me. Caroline stepped in front of her and Elena walked away disappearing in the crowd. It then dawned on me. I forgot about Katherine and my main goal of the night because of Elena. This is not good. She keeps getting wrapped up in my thoughts. I got serious and realized what I had to do. I walked away from the dance floor with Caroline furiously following behind me. I went up the stairs and went into a room where I knew had what I was looking for. I found the medallion where I hid it many years ago, it had the answers the my prayers. I smiled at it ignoring the protests coming from Caroline. My plan is finally unraveling.

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait. Updates should be happening a lot faster. Thanks for all the reviews!**_

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	5. It's horrid to see you again

"_**There is no refuge from memory and remorse in this world. The spirits of our foolish deeds haunt us, with or without repentance." **_

_**-Gilbert Parker **_

DPOV.

"Please?"

"No."

"Please, please, please!" Caroline was standing in front of me pouting. She was running a car wash and she wanted me to help. We were standing outside where it was going to be held and there were people running around us getting ready for it. Don't get me wrong, half naked girl are sort of my thing but washing cars, I leave that to them. "It wouldn't be called sexy suds without the sexiest guy in school. Please?" She's been whining and begging all day and it's been the same answer every time.

"No." Her sweet smile dropped and she glared at me.

"You're so callous." I put my finger to her lips trying to forcefully shut her up in a playful way.

" Ah, ah, ah. Flattery wont get you anywhere." She sighed and turned around going back to painting a banner she was in the middle of.

"As my boyfriend you are supposed to do things like things with me."

" And as my lady friend your not supposed to be an annoying little twit, but I'm forced to live with it." I said under my breath.

"What?" She said completely clueless.

"Caroline?" I looked towards the familiar voice that was coming from behind me. It was Elena. A smile crept onto my face but then I quickly forced it away. She was holding a bucket of paint. Caroline turned around and snarled at the sight of Elena. "Sarah said you wanted the blue paint." She motioned towards the can and Caroline nodded to her side. Elena walked up to Caroline completely ignoring me.

" What are you doing here?" I said making her pay attention to me.

" My brother said I needed to get out more and get a life and I'm starting to agree with him."

"Is Dylan going to be here?" Caroline added, clearly upset we were talking.

" Ha, yea Dylan helping would never happen. He has too much pride to help. It must be a guy thing."

"Oh tell me about it. I've been trying to get Damon to help for a long time but it's always no, no, no."

"I guess all we have is sweet Matt to help us." The girls were looking at some kid who was setting up chairs and was accidentally flipping them over. They both burst out laughing and I looked at Caroline surprised. She suddenly stopped laughing, putting back on her bitch face remembering she wasn't supposed to like Elena. I knew that feeling. " Well I've been gone long enough. Sarah is going tear my head off if I don't get back now." Elena walked away and I watched her go. Lingering for a bit till I felt Caroline slap my chest.

"You just can't resist putting your hands on me, can you?" She rolled her eyes and turned around opening the can of paint.

" Damon can you just help me out with this car wash? Please? I already convinced the new kid to help out. I should be able to convince you."

"New kid?" That spiked my interest. It was the middle of the year, why haven't I heard of this?

"Yea, he is really hot too. If your not careful you might have something to worry about." Oh please, even though she was joking that just sounded ridiculous. Damon Salvatore losing his girl? Never will happen. Except for that one time... but that was just a fluke. I'm getting her back. I went over and grabbed a paint brush absentmindedly drawling circles that had no purpose onto the banner. They can be... bubbles. "His name is Stefan. I don't know his last name though." I dropped the paint brush that was in my hand. No, it couldn't be. That's impossible! My fist slammed down on the table. He must of found out the same thing I did about the tomb.

" He's going to be here later for the car wash?"

"Mhm."

"I'll be here." She dropped the paint brush and jumped on me and squeezed me tight. She squealed in my ear then let go of me.

"Yay!" She kissed me quick and went back to painting all happy now. What have I gotten myself into?

A couple hours later I was sitting at a table waiting for people to come pay. I was contemplating taking off my ring and just ending it there. It was so boring. I looked around searching for the "New kid." The only reason I was here.

"Hey Damon." Elena suddenly appeared next to me. "Caroline wants you to go get the extra towels in the janitor closest inside the school."

"Lucky me." I got up from the chair I've been planted in for the past hour. "Want to come with? We can get freaky in the closet. I've done it in worse places."

"Really Damon?"

"Oh yea! Backseats, class rooms, bath-" She cut me off by putting her hand on my mouth. She laughed and took it away.

"Not what I meant. Now go get the towels." I smirked at her then walked away. I felt her snap a towel at me and it hit me in the back.

"Ohhhh, you're kinky. Just how I like it." I said while walking backwards. I turned around and was heading for the school but I felt a surge of power go through the air. I froze and looked around. What was that? I saw little Bonnie Bennett staring off into space right in front off me. Before I knew what was happening a blast of fire appeared out of nowhere and was heading towards me. If I didn't use vampire speed I would of gotten caught in the flames. The fire went right up to a car and it caught fire instantly. I looked back at Bonnie. She was clearly doing this. Interesting. I knew she was a Bennett but I didn't think she came into her powers yet. Maybe a witch wasn't going to be too hard to get a hold off after all. I walked forward shaking her and then the fire went out faster then it began.

"Bonnie!" I shook her one last time and she blinked.

"I-I... did I just...?"

"Start a car on fire." I finished for her. "Having a bad day?"

"Damon that's crazy talk. I didn't just..." Her breath hitched and she was starting to space out. I didn't have time for this.

" Damon I need those towels!" Caroline yelled from a couple feet away. Ugh, that girl had the worst timing ever. I needed to get on Bonnie's good side. All the other witches I have come in contact with, end up hating me. I wonder why.

" Don't tell anyone." I didn't realize it but Bonnie was backing up then practically running away. Well if she was going to rudely walk away in the middle of a conversation then I was going to go get those stupid towels. I went back on my path to the school and busted in through the old doors. The hallway lights were off and the only light around was coming from the windows.

"Oooo. Spooky." I walked down the hallway to where I thought this closest was. When I finally found it I was about to open it when I felt a breeze behind me. After my hundred and some years of living I knew, nothing like that was ever 'just the wind'. I felt a presence somewhere around. A familiar presence I haven't felt in years. "Aren't you going to show yourself Stefan?" Before I knew what was happening a hand came around my throat and I was being pushed back into the lockers. In an instant I had the tables turned pinning Stefan with my hand firmly around his neck. "Your foolish to think you could actually overpower me."

"Why are you here?" He choked out. I let go of his throat shoving him back into the locker again then put space in between us. I leaned against the wall across from him.

"Getting towels." I said simply.

"I mean in town."

"Visiting, clearly."

"Your lying." He hissed out.

" Is it really that unbelievable that I was just homesick? Now, why are you here? I'm not playing twenty questions with you, straight out answer."

"Visiting." He smiled at me smugly and I so badly wanted to go over there and physically tear that smile off of his face.

" I know why you're back. I'm pretty sure it all begins with Katherine and ends with a Pierce."

"Katherine is dead Damon." By the look in his eyes I knew he knew better. I decided to play along.

" Well yes, she was dead all along. Do I have to tell you the basics of being a vampire? I thought you would of caught on by now."

"You know what I mean Damon."

" You know what I think Stefan? Katherine might be dead but Elena Gilbert is fully living. But I'm pretty sure you already knew that, didn't you?" He stood up straight off the locker being caught off guard.

"You know about her?"

" It was kind of hard to miss." I stopped leaning on the wall and casually walked over to the closest where the towels should be. I grabbed a pile of them and slammed the door. " If you go near her, talk to her, even look in her direction, I will kill you. That's not a threat, it's a promise. Do you understand baby brother?"

"You can't replace Katherine with her Damon. She's not the same. Not even close." I started walking back down the hallway leaving Stefan.

"Never said that's what I wanted." I called over my shoulder, leaving Stefan there behind. Things where about to get a lot more interesting in the mysterious town of Mystic Falls.

_**AN: Sorry it was so short and took so long to update. I've been super busy but I'll be updating a lot faster, I promise! Thanks for all your reviews! **_

_**So I was told Damon was OOC. If I was being completely honest I wasn't paying too close attention to this story. I was using this more for inspiration for my other fic Taste in Men. But now I'm determined to get Damon in character and pay a lot more attention. I already know Elena is a little OOC with letting Dylan walk all over her but in my story with Elena, she is still extremely affected by her parents death. That's where I am coming from and in the show at the very beginning, she finally gets over that hump but in my story she is still lost in her grief. But anyways, if I am getting too OOC, seriously yell at me. I have no problems with that. **_

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	6. Infatuation turning into disease

_**"Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden."**_

_**-Phaedrus**_

I was sitting in class drawing little flowers on the side of my notes. It was my last class of the day and it couldn't of been over fast enough. The moment the bell rang I was out of there. I rushed out the door and headed straight for my locker. When I turned the corner, I stopped in my tracks shocked. Dylan was leaning against our locker with a single red rose in his hand and he looked happy for once. I couldn't help but smile at him attempting to be sweet. I walked to the locker and suddenly calmed down from my rush to get home.

"Aww." I said while he handed me the rose and moved over a bit so I could open my locker. Times where Dylan was like this were rare. I cherished every moment I got. "What's this all about?" I twisted the rose in my hand looking at it.

"Can't I do something nice for my girlfriend every once in a while?" He said defensively. I looked up to him and gave him a suspicious look. "You're right I've been feeling like an ass lately. I'm sorry." I sighed knowing this is how things went with us. He randomly apologizes, I fall for him all over again, then he screws it up. It was a pattern I've grown used to by now.

"It's a really nice gesture." I smiled at him and threw my books into my locker and shut it.

"Come on, were going to get food." He put his arm around me and we walked out of the school together.

When we arrived at the Grill I was actually in a surprisingly good mood. We sat down and talked for a long time. I laughed at his jokes that weren't funny and he would randomly say nice things. It was fun for once. It was always nice talking to Dylan when you really needed to get your mind off things. He talked about himself a lot, so there wasn't a lot of effort I had to put in to the conversation. I didn't have to think about me. Sometimes it was annoying but most of the time I liked it that way.

Our food finally came and I was ready to stuff my face.

"You really going to eat all of that?" He said sarcastically while staring at my plate. Here we go again...

"Yes! I'm starving I haven't ate in like seventeen days." I smiled and played it off trying not to show how much little comments like that hurt. He laughed a little at my over dramatics and we went into a somewhat comfortable silence. I was about to take a big bite of my food when I heard the door of the Grill bust open. I looked up to the direction of the noise, not thinking, to see Damon and... Vicki? What? Why was he here with her? She's basically my brothers girlfriend and she's with Damon? I already knew Damon enough to know that if he was with a girl, it was more then just a platonic relationship. I felt my heart sink for Jeremy. I can't believe he was here with her and Vicki would do that to him. He could of been a little more secretive about it. Caroline could come walking in at any moment. I knew he was a player, I've witnessed it but I thought he was better at playing them all.

"I'm starving. Who do I get to eat?" Vicki walked right past me with Damon following. What did I just hear? 'Get to eat?' I sat there with my mouth open still and my fork inches from my mouth contemplating what I just heard. I put my food back down and just watched them talk at the bar. Vicki turned around in her stool and started looking around the Grill. She pointed to a couple of people and Damon looked embarrassed and brought her hand down while shaking his head. What was going on here?

Damon leaned forward and whispered in her ear then she immediately started laughing. I couldn't keep my eyes off the two. I felt rage overtake me. I watched as Vicki got up and disappeared throughout the crowd and Damon went back to leaning against the bar. I glanced at Dylan and he was completely oblivious.

"I'll be right back." I said while sliding out of the booth and walking to Damon. He was sipping on something that did not look like soda or juice.

"Elena." He said not even looking in my direction as I sat in the stool Vicki was in only seconds ago.

"You know for being in highschool you sure do get away with a lot of stuff." I said while pointing to his drink. He looked down at it and shrugged.

"I'm convincing." Oh, I already knew that. I quickly looked in Dylan's direction to see him texting someone. "Do you need something?" He said a little annoyed and my attention was a brought back to him. I was taken back by his harshness. He never acts like that to me

"Why are you here with Vicki?" I got straight to the point. He obviously wasn't in the mood for chitchat and I really wasn't either. He put his drink down and turned towards me confused.

"You sound jealous." What? Where did he get that from? I wasn't even remotely close to being...jealous.

"Don't be ridiculous Damon. Did you know Vicki is dating my brother? He would be heartbroken if he saw you together. No offense Damon but you said it yourself, you're a player. And I don't even understand why you are with Caroline if you can't even respect her enough to not cheat on her every chance you get." I felt bad for Caroline. Even though we don't talk, she was once my best friend. That counts for something. I like Damon as a friend but I didn't condone his actions. He clearly didn't care about anybody's feelings. "Do you even remember Caroline? Your girlfriend?"

"She's my lady friend."

"Damon..."

"How about you just worry about yourself and I'll do the same." I wanted to sit there and argue with him but I was gone from Dylan long enough.

"I really wish you would just realize the relationships you are ruining." I went to walk away but I stopped when I heard him start to talk.

"You really do genuinely care about everyone else." It was a statement not a question. I turned around, curious as to why it was so surprising. He got off the stool and walked to me.

"Why are you so surprised?"

"I guess I'm just not used to having a nice friend around."

"Your just not used to having a friend at all." I smiled at him sarcastically. "And as your friend I'm aloud to tell you when you're being an ass."

" Well that means, as your friend I'm aloud to point out how much you stare at my ass."

" Does that make you uncomfortable?" He laughed not expecting that but it was short lived as he suddenly went serious.

"Your boyfriend has made a friend." I glanced over in Dylan's direction to see him talking to some guy at our table. If he saw me with Damon, I'd be screwed. I let out a breath, deciding I had to go back. "I should go." He stepped away from me and started walking. "Oh and by the way, I know that guy. He's a creep." He yelled over his shoulder and went right out of the Grill. I looked over in her direction to see that she probably didn't really care. I walked back to Dylan and sat down. Dylan didn't even look in my direction or decide to introduce me to his friend as I just sat there waiting.

"How rude of me, I'm Stefan." The guy shifted and was talking to me. He looked familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I was a little shocked. Most of Dylan's friends don't say a word to me.

"Hey Stefan, I'm Elena." I shook his hand and smiled as sweetly as I could.

"I know." Now I see why Damon said he was a creep. "Dylan was talking about you." He added.

"Oh, well I hope he only said good things." I joked but actually seriously hoped that.

"Of course."

"I should get going. Leave you guys to talk." I grabbed my coat and got up. "See you later D. It was great meeting you Stefan."

"I'll pick you up before school tomorrow." Doubt it. I leaned over and kissed his cheek briefly and turned around heading for the door. I was pushing through the door and it hit someone on the other side. I quickly rushed through to see Caroline sitting on the floor looking flustered.

"Oh my god Caroline. I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there." I held my hand out for her to take and she just looked at it conflicted. She finally put her hand in mine and I helped her up. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I was so happy that she didn't get here a couple minutes earlier. She smiled and wiped the little bit of dirt that got on her jeans off. "It happens." I smiled back and then her face went into the emotionless mask I've seen on her so many times. "I mean, watch where you're going Gilbert." She pushed past me and went right into the Grill. We were making progress.

I quickly found my way home and ran inside getting out of the cold. I took off my coat throwing it over the side of the couch and sat down crossing my legs. Now what? I was looking around the room and I saw a framed picture of my family sitting on the table next to me. Ever since the accident I do my best to ignore the constant reminder that things will never be the same but this time it was different. I grabbed the picture off the table and looked at it. Slowly brushing my fingers against the glass.

The picture was of me when I was just five years old. It was the day we went to the pumpkin patch. It was the first time our family ever did that. I remember running around in the dirt looking for the biggest pumpkin. Jeremy would waddle behind me, with him being just a little toddler. This day I found the perfect pumpkin that I fell in love with I knew it was the one I wanted. I went to grab it and I had the biggest smile on my face but I couldn't pick it up and I felt my heart break because the only rule my parents had was it doesn't matter how big the pumpkin is but you had to be able to carry it. I remember sadly walking away from it and running to my mom and hugging her legs as she talked to the creepy man who rode the giant tractor. When we ended up leaving I had a little tiny pumpkin and I was as depressed as a five year old could get. But when I got into the car my dad opened the other door on the side of me and slid in the pumpkin I wanted so bad. I don't remember a time in my life I've ever been happier. I then fell asleep with my arms wrapped around the pumpkin as the sun was setting the whole way home.

I was broken out of my memory as the door bell rang. I blinked a couple times and looked down to see a little puddle of tears that clouded the picture. I didn't even realize I was crying. I quickly took the sleeve of my shirt and dried the glass of the picture. I held onto the picture tightly and felt the familiar tears run down my face. I went to stand up and get the door but Jeremy ran down the stars before I could.

"I got it." He yelled as he opened the door." Hey, come in. It's freezing out there." I turned around in the couch and my jaw dropped. Vicki was standing in the door frame walking into my house. I didn't know what to do. Just a minute ago she was out with Damon, now she's with my brother? I didn't know what I should say. Or if I should say anything at all. Before I could even make a decision they were running up the stairs giggling.

I ignored them and then put the picture back down on the table. I got up and decided to go to bed. As I was walking to the stairs the door bell rang again. I sighed and walked to the door. I opened it and was surprised to see a furious looking Damon standing on the porch. His face softened when he saw me and I quickly wiped the left over tears away from my eyes.

" Did Vicki come here?" What? Why would he come here to find Vicki?

"Yea.." Okay, now I was extremely baffled. He walked right in to my house and went for my stairs. I watched as he went right for Jeremy's room and bust open the door as I stood downstairs in shock. A few seconds later he emerged from the room with Vicki over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" She was shouting and hitting him over and over again.

"I told you not to come here tonight." Damon was telling her and was coming down the stairs. There was definitely some weird gong on between them.

"What the hell?" Jeremy came running out of his room and followed them. Damon didn't even acknowledge him and went for the door but stopped right next to me.

"Tomorrow are we going to the haunted house?" I laughed at how normal he came across when the whole situation was so strange.

"Uh, sure." He smiled at me then went out the door with a squirming Vicki. I can't believe that just happened.

"That guy is a real dick." Jeremy huffed and went up the stairs back to his room.

"I know." I smiled and closed the door behind them. Tomorrow may actually be a good day.

_**AN: I'm really terrible. I promise updates wont take that long! **_

_**So I redid the ending a couple times with total different outcomes so of course I keep second guessing myself. But I hop you liked it. **_


	7. Killer instinct to be aware of evil men

_**" There are no secrets better kept than the secrets that everybody guesses."**_

_**-George Bernard Shaw**_

DPOV  
"What the hell Vicki!" Vicki was squirming on my back and I shoved her in my car. I just caught her sneaking around with Jeremy right after we had a serious conversation about how she cannot go there in till she gets under control. "You are seriously going to ruin my plans! It would be different if it wasn't Elena's brother!" I slammed the door and walked around to my side.

"It's not my fault you didn't know we were dating!" She screamed right when I got in.

"You're right because if you weren't you'd be dead right now." I started driving away from the house hoping they couldn't hear us out there.

"Liar! The only reason you did this to me was because you where bored!"

"True. But if I knew you were with mini Gilbert, you would just be plain dead. Dead, dead, dead!"

"I hate you!"

"That's so sweet, I hate you too." I gave her a fake smile that just made her angrier. "And so will Jeremy if he finds out." I pulled into the Grill parking lot.

"No! It wouldn't be Jeremy hating me, it would be Elena hating you!" I slammed down on the breaks and she went forward hitting her head on the dashboard. "Ow..." She looked at me and was furious now. "What if... your precious Elena found out?

"You'd be dead before that could happen." I said without missing a beat.

"We'll see about that." Then she was gone and my car door was left wide open.

"Dammit!" I mumbled and was out of the car in one second flat. I looked around everywhere. I didn't see her. I was about to get back in the car in till I heard shuffling coming from the back of the Grill. I walked down the steps that led to the noise. I didn't care if they noticed me. I'm pretty sure after the night I had, this town could deal with another couple of "animal attacks". I was ready to go grab my little snack for the night when I froze. I immediately backed up into the shadows when I saw Dylan making out hardcore with a girl I didn't know. I grew frustrated at not being able to eat them and then furious at how this guy was totally cheating on Elena. I may sound hypocritical but I wanted to kill him for cheating on her. For tricking her into thinking he actually cared. I quickly ran out of there. I got back into my car and drove off back to the boarding house, completely forgetting about Vicki.

All I could think about all that night was Dylan. Was I going to tell Elena? Would she even believe me? I couldn't even sleep. I didn't even attempt to go to bed as I was too busy thinking this over. When sun light started to peak through the windows I finally made a decision. I wasn't going to tell her. I don't know why but she relied on that idiot. How could I take that away from her? I jumped up from the couch and grabbed my jacket. I was about to go open the door when I paused. I backtracked and grabbed the medallion off the table that has been sitting there for a while now.

I headed out of the boarding house and went to... school. Everyday I arrived at school I felt my reputation in the supernatural world deteriorate. Bad ass Damon Salvatore is in History class today. Ugh. It disgusts me. I got out of my car and looked around. My eyes landed on the one person I was hoping I would see. Elena. I felt my feet walking towards her but then I stopped when Dylan came into view. I sighed and turned towards the other direction and when I saw Bonnie siting on a picnic table my mind was immediately set back on my original goal of this whole charade. I walked towards her ready to put on the charm.

"Hello Bonnie." I smiled at her and sat down on the bench.

"Hey Damon." She mumbled.

"Why are you so down?" I noticed her lack of enthusiasm. "Bad day?"

"Bad life." I laughed and figured this was perfect.

"Maybe this could cheer you up." I lifted up my hand and dropped the medallion. It glistened in the sun light and she looked at it mesmerized. I watched her carefully as she took in the necklace a little too much. It almost looked like she was in a trance and she reached up to grab it. I let her take it and she gasped and shuttered. She let go of the necklace and backed away from the table.

"Thanks but no thanks." I curiously watched her run away. I thought she would have come into her powers a little bit more by now. I jumped off the table and started walking into the school. I gave one glance at Elena to see her watching me closely. I waved to her and only with my vampire eyesight could I see her blush as she looked away.

I went about my day like all the rest and did my best to not snap at anyone. It was over and I was rushing out of school before I heard the annoying voice of my lady friend screaming my name.

"Damon!" I stopped walking and turned around to see her running over to me. She was carrying a large amount of decorations and shuffled up to me. "Can you please help me? I'm about to drop everything."

"No." As I was speaking she lost her grip and everything fell to the floor.

"Really Damon?" When I didn't say anything she just rolled her eyes and bent down grabbing everything. "What time are you picking me up tonight?"

"Actually I'm going with Elena." Everything she picked up again fell to the floor and she looked at me horrified.

"Damon I'm your girlfriend! You're supposed to be taking me!"

"Caroline, you still will be my lady friend and you're going to be busy with the whole haunted house anyway."

"You know I don't like it when you hangout with her." I rolled my eyes and leaned in to kiss her briefly.

"See you later." I turned around and started walking out of school and went to my car. To my surprise Bonnie was leaning against the side of my car.

"Do you have a second?" Bonnie said as I got closer.

"I always have time for a pretty lady like yourself." She tried her best not to smile. I knew I had her right where I wanted her.

"I'm sorry I was acting so weird earlier. I'm having a hard time lately. There's been a lot of changes going on in my life."

"I know." She looked at me confused for a second. "I know your secret."

"W-What secret?" She played off. We both knew she knew what I was talking about. "The secret that I have a huge crush on Brad Weber, who sits next to me in history? Everyone knows that." She looked at me nervous and I smirked as her heart started beating faster.

"Sure, that secret." I leaned in closer so only she could hear me. "Just so you know, I'm trying to protect you. Take this." I put the medallion into her pocket and leaned back away from her. I smiled as her heart rate was normal. I was finally winning her trust.

"And what is going on here?" My attention was immediately switched to the familiar voice of Elena looking at us judgingly.

"I was just saying goodbye." Bonnie's words were rushed out and she ran away. We both watched her leave. When she was far gone I looked back at Elena.

"You do know her and Caroline are friends right? No matter how many flirty smiles you give each other nothing will ever happen."

"I'm not sure green is your color Elena."

"I'm not jealous..." She stammered.

"Sure, I believe you. Now get in the car." She walked over and got in. We drove to her house and I followed her into the room. I went for the familiar spot on her bed that I usually laid on as she rushed around her room. "What are you wearing tonight?"

"I haven't decided yet." I got up from her bed and opened her closest and started riffling through her clothes.

"Why haven't you worn half of this stuff." I noticed a lot of clothes I've never seen before. "There are a lot of low cut shirts. Don't you know those are my favorite?" I heard her laugh come from the bathroom as I kept looking through her stuff. "What did you wear last year?" I called to her and she came into the closest.

"Here." She grabbed something off a hanger and held it against herself. "I'm going to be a repeat offender."

"Go put it on." I said excited at how it was going to look on her.

A couple minutes she came out in a bloody nurses outfit. I looked her up and down and had to remind myself to not let my jaw drop.

"You look beautiful." She blushed and it drove me crazy.

"What are you wearing?" She asked.

"This." Her brow furrowed and she looked at me.

"What are you going to be."

"I'm going to be a Damon Salvatore." She giggled and rolled her eyes and went to finish getting ready. I sat on her bed for the next hour or two and just watched her. I felt like I could do this everyday. Just spend time with her doing absolutely nothing. She was sitting at he end of her bed and we were talking about some random thing when Elena's phone went off. She ran over to the dresser and quickly picked it up.

"Hello?" She said into he phone and I used my special hearing to listen to the other person.

"Are you at the school for the haunted house yet?" I heard it was mini Gilbert and that spiked my interest. I haven't seen Vicki since last night.

"No. I'll be there soon though. I lost track of time."

"Vicki is here. She is acting really strange." I jumped off the bed and went straight for the door. I couldn't take any chances. I heard Elena hang up and follow after me.

"Where are you going?"

"Come on we gotta go." I rushed her outside and we left. It didn't take long to get to the school because of my driving. I just noticed Elena clinging to her seat and freaking out.

"What's going on Damon?" I was out of the car in a second and opening her door.

"I have to find Vicki."

"What is with you and Vicki?"

"How about you go find her brother. See you around." I turned away from Elena's questioning gaze and rushed off into he crowd of people. I took a moment and tried to listen to all the conversations going on. I quickly heard mini Gilbert and rushed off to where the school buses were.

"Vicki? Vicki! What the hell?" Jeremy screamed which made it easier to find them.

I got there right when Jeremy was pushing Vicki off of him. She went to attack him but I grabbed her shoulder from behind and threw her against the building and she fell to the floor. Jeremy ran to her. I did my best to grab him before Vicki got to him but I was too late. She sunk her fangs into his neck and blood filled the air. I grabbed a hold of him and yanked him away. Vicki was on her feet and walking towards Jeremy but then she suddenly went still. She gasped and she was slowly turning grey. Her body suddenly fell to the ground and then Stefan was revealed with a bloody stake in his hand.

"It had to be done." Stefan said. Jeremy ran forward towards Vicki's dead body and tears where falling down his face.

"What happened to her?" He mumbled and took her hand in his.

"She was a vampire Jeremy." His head flashed up and he looked at me with tears still falling from his eyes.

"Va-Vampire?" He looked at us both then gasped immediately standing up backing away from us. "You guys are.. are vampires?" I looked at Stefan to see him staring at Jeremy's neck. I watched as he inched forward a bit.

"Stefan." There was no response and Stefan took a full step closer to Jeremy. "Stefan!" I screamed and he finally looked away. "Take care of Vicki. I'll take care of the kid." He stared at me for a long time and without answering he took Vicki's body and there it over his shoulder and walked out of view.

"What's going to happen to her body?"

"That doesn't matter. You have to forget now." His eyes went wide and he backed up a little more against the wall.

"Forget? I don't want to forget." I paused, not expecting that.

"I can make it all go away."

"Don't." I was suddenly right in his face. He wasn't even afraid. I stepped back impressed and looked him up and down. Maybe I could use his help... A sinister smile spread across my face and I disappeared out of sight. I was definitely going to use him.

_**Review!**_


	8. Breathing life into the nightmare

_** "Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man."**_

_**-Friedrich Nietzsche**_

DPOV

"You think I'm crazy." I stated as Jeremy looked at me dumbstruck. "You can pick your jaw off the floor now." I watched as he began to regain composure and straightened himself out.

"I'm sorry. That is... dude, that story is messed up." I just told him everything. I needed his help and if I was going to get it, I had to fess up. I told him all about Katherine, my brother, and my intentions here in Mystic Falls. The only things I left out where how the town knows about vampires and how Katherine is identical to Elena. And the fact I occasionally snack on some of his friends and possibly one day his sister. That could make me look weird. "I mean I read about things like this is in the old journals but I thought they were all loony."

"Hey! That's my generation kid." I said while I leaned back against the door frame of his bed room.

"Sorry." He laughed and then went serious. "Damon, what did your brother do with Vicki?" I was waiting for this.

"She's probably buried somewhere. I wouldn't know. Oh and that's another thing we have to keep our eye out for. Stefan came back for some reason and I think it's Katherine. You can't say anything about that tomb!" I stressed and judged his reaction. He nodded and looked distant. There was silence and I knew he had something to say but didn't know to to say it. "Come out with it."

"Huh?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking about."

"Okay. Well, why are you telling me all this? I mean what would you benefit with me knowing?" Took him long enough. Clearly he must of been wondering what my angle was.

"See, I need your help." I pushed off the wall and walked closer to him. "Bonnie Bennett." He was staring at me surprised.

"What do you need her for?" Questions, questions and more questions. I was so close to just compelling him but something was stopping me. He was Elena's brother, if she ever found out... whoa. She will never find out. She can't, but that still didn't stop the nagging feeling to leave him alone.

"You don't need to worry about that quite yet. Just get on her good side and convince her I'm...nice?"

"Why can't you just do it?" I sighed. He was making this no compelling thing very difficult.

"Because whenever she touches me she freaks out and runs away. Girls like to touch me, so its inevitable that I need your help."

"I'm already somewhat close to her. Her and Elena were once best friends." What? I learn something new about her everyday.

"I need you to be closer. Hook up with her, make her fall for you, whatever it is to make her trust you with her life. This is serious." I didn't need him fucking up my plan.

"Vicki just died I don't think-"

"I'm asking you to fall in love with her. Just make her fall in love with you and we are all good." I cut him off and I started heading towards the door. I heard him follow behind me as I turned down the hall heading for the stairs.

"Damon, wait!" he called after me and stopped before the top of the stairs and turned around to look at him.

"I don't want to use her like that." I did not have time for this.

"You can't back out now." I said while turning back to the stairs.

"What if I did?" I paused and slowly turned back to him. Was he seriously pulling this shit now?

"I'll kill you without even blinking." I said without missing a beat. I watched his eyes wide at my threat and I smiled at him taking it seriously.

I started going down the stairs for the umpteenth time and when I reached the bottom I heard a familiar kind of moan. I stopped and Jeremy was right behind me.

"Eww." I heard him from behind me as we watched Elena and Dylan makeout. I felt a certain deep rage go through me as I saw this. The guy didn't deserve her. If only she knew...

"It makes me want to gouge out my eyes." I said while frowning in disgust.

"Should I go find some spoons?" Jeremy said and I laughed and then tore my eyes way from them.

"I'm already scarred." I went for the door and was halfway out when I heard my name being called.

"Damon?" I turned around to see Elena pushing Dylan off her and standing up. She walked around the couch and ran up to me, giving me a hug.

"Where did you go the other night? I was really worried. I thought we where going to spend the night together." She said and I instantly felt guilty. I completely bailed on her.

"He was helping me." Jeremy chipped in from behind. "I got smashed and he gave me a ride home."

"I'm sorry. I should of called or something." I added.

"Wait, so you guys are friends now?" She looked between us and was clearly confused.

"Yep." I quickly thought of something to get her mind off the currant situation so she wouldn't start asking questions. "Do you want to go grab some food? I have to make it up to you"

"Actually we were just about to go to the Grill." Dylan came up from behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. I stared at that arm and did my best to not rip it off of her and break it.

"You should come with." Elena said and I laughed and then quickly stopped when she gave me a strange look.

"No." I said simply as I thought of how that situation would turn out. "Thanks though." I added quickly at her hurt face. That wasn't my intention. "Call me when you ditch him." I pointed to Dylan as if he couldn't hear me.

"What the fu-"

"Bye now." I interrupted Dylan and walked out of the Gilbert house. I walked towards my car and I could hear Dylan yelling inside. Oops.

I smirked to myself and when I got into my car I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I quickly pulled out my phone to see if Elena had already chosen to bail on that loser. I frowned when I saw it was an unknown number and answered it.

"What?" I said really not in the mood for anyone.

"Wheres the medallion Damon?" The voice of an angry Stefan came out of the phone.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said innocently and he growled in frustration.

"I know you have it!" He screamed and I rolled my eyes completely annoyed.

I hung up on him and simply put my phone away and headed back to the boarding house. The drive there went quick as I thought of ways to make up me bailing on Elena. I pulled into the driveway and quickly got out of my car going into my house. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn't notice how the house was completely trashed in till I was pouring myself a drink.

"Ah, come on Stefan!" I screamed and slammed the glass down. "You are cleaning this all up!" I said throughout the house. I could sense he was still here. "Its like I'm dealing with a five year old." I said under my breath.

"Where is it?" He suddenly appeared in the middle of the living room clearly pissed off.

"Why do you want it so bad Stefan?" If he knew about the tomb, I didn't know what I would do. It had to be me to save Katherine. I've been planning this out for too long.

"I just want it." He growled and I tsked at him. He really was five.

"Its not yours."

"Give it to me!" He moved forward, trying to be intimidating and it really was hilarious.

"Have you ever heard of manners? There wasn't one please in there." I said while walking back to my alcohol. I needed a drink. "And it doesn't matter anyway. I had it destroyed."

"Why would you do that!" He screamed and I looked him up and down. He clearly knew about the tomb. But I must be a couple steps ahead of him.

"Is that why you're back? To rescue Katherine, like the white knight you so wish to be." He just looked at me as his brow furrowed. "That's it, isn't it?" Before he could respond he was gone. I stood there in the empty house. An empty messy house. At least he wasn't here for Elena...No, no, no. He should be wanting Elena. I should be wanting a distraction. What's wrong with me. Ugh.

I chugged my drink down, trying to get a clear mind. I sat down in my chair in front of the fire and laid my head back. I let my eyes close and slowly drift off.

I was startled awake by a pounding on the door. I groaned and got up, walking towards the door.

"Hold on. You better not be a girl scout." I said while opening the door. I was taken back by the sight and didn't know what to do. Elena was standing there crying her eyes out. She ran into the house and I stood there frozen when she wrapped her arms around me.

"Damon!"

"What's wrong?" I said while awkwardly patting her head. I've never been the one able to comfort a crying girl. I always said the wrong thing.

"Dylan! He's..He's been c-ch-cheating on me!" She said as she sobbed and I led her towards the couch and sat her down. I was waiting for this. I didn't know to respond to her.

"What happened?" I asked a little hesitant on if that was the right thing to say.

"We were at the Grill and this girl comes in and kisses him right in front of me. She didn't even know he had a girlfriend!"

"Sshh." I said as her sobs got louder and I held onto her. "It will be alright."

"How will it be alright! If he's gone... I don't know what will happen to me!" I was a little confused. She never really did seem that emotionally attached to him. I expected her to be upset but there must be more behind this. "I can't go back to that place! I can't. I can't!" I had no idea what she was talking about.

I got up from the couch, pulling her up with me. I let go of her for the first time and grabbed my keys that where on the table next to my chair. I looked back at her to see makeup running down her face and her rubbing her yes. I've never seen her looks so heartbroken, expect for once. The first day I ever saw her. There was a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw her cry. I hated it when she cried. I wanted to fix... everything.

"What happened to your house?" She mumbled while looking around. I completely forgot about the mess.

"I, uh, lost the remote. Now come one." I said while nodding to the door.

"Where are we going."

" Let's take a drive." I said while heading towards the door.

"A long one?" She said while grabbing onto my hand. I felt a tingle when she did so and nodded.

"A long one." I confirmed as I ushered her out the door and she went for my car. We got in and I pulled out onto the street. I was prepared to do whatever I could to make her forget all about that asshole.

_**An: I'm so sorry about the long wait. I know I'm always apologizing for that. I finished my main fic and I plan on updating this a lot more. **_

_**Thanks for reading! **_


	9. I'd fill your every breath with meaning

_** "If I am what I have, and if I lose what I have, who then am I?"**_

_**Erich Fromm**_

_**EPOV**_

There was silence in the car. I was falling apart right in front of Damon. I let him see a part of me I never wanted anyone to even know about. I hate being vulnerable but I trusted Damon. We've been driving for a while now and we were on roads that were completely unfamiliar to me. I didn't ask where we were going, I just hoped it was far enough away.

"He says he loves me." I finally broke the silence and stared out the window. I could feel Damon's eyes on me but I didn't move. "I can't see how it's real." I mumbled. The car was slowly coming to a stop as Damon pulled off to the side of the road. He shut the car off and we just sat there. I shifted in my seat to look at him. He was leaning against his car door and just staring at me. There was some emotion in his eyes I just couldn't pin what it was. I felt a single tear drop again, not for the betrayal of Dylan, but for being so pathetic that I depended on him so much.

"I think if he loved you, he wouldn't make you cry." Damon's hand came and swept the single tear off my face and I just watched his every move.

"I look really stupid, don't I?"

"No." He said simply. "You loved him, he betrayed you. I would be very upset too." I didn't know what to say. He was wrong. I didn't love him.

"I-I don't... I don't love him. I never could." His brow furrowed as he stared at me.

"Then why would you stay with him when he treats you like shit?" His voice was low and I could tell he didn't understand. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to open up to someone so badly. I wanted him to understand. I wanted him to realize that I didn't want a guy like Dylan in my future. I wanted someone to care about, I wanted someone who would love me forever. I didn't want to be the broken girl who drowns in self pity. I wanted him to realize this more then I wanted to accept the fact I would never have it.

"Do you want the truth or do you want the answer I'd give to everyone else?"

"I'm not everyone else." He said and I was a little taken back with the passion behind it. "I want to know... everything that you're so desperate to say. I can see it in your eyes how you just want to pour it all out. Just do it."

"Okay." I said, finally confident that maybe he could get it. "I used to be the happiest person you'd ever meet. I had everything I'd ever wanted and ever needed. When my parents died... that slipped right out of my fingers. My perfect life, my perfect family, my perfect friends and my perfect boyfriend. That was all ripped from me. You wouldn't of recognized me then. I've come a long way from that but not far enough. I'm slowly picking up the pieces of my past mistakes and the only reason I had any motivation to do so was because of Dylan." I wasn't looking at Damon anymore. I was staring straight ahead and my hand were clenched together in my lap. "I couldn't feel anything Damon. I couldn't feel the pain of my parents death. I couldn't feel the love I had for everyone who I used to care about. I couldn't feel anything. I was just going through the motions of life. And somehow... Dylan pulled me away from that. He never understood what it was like to lose someone, so he was never gentile with me. He wasn't scared to hurt my feelings. Somehow his harsh words and the way he pushed me around made me feel better. Because I was no longer hung up on my parents death, I was concentrating on myself and how I could be better." We went out for just a drive, and it turned into the story of my life.

"Elena... you didn't need a guy like that."

"Yes, I did. I do. What happens now Damon? I will be such a fool to go back to him. But what am I going to do without him? I have no one else!"

"You have me." He said silently. I was struck for words and I didn't know how to argue back. "That could be enough."

" Damon... It's not the same. I'm glad you're my friend but-"

"No Elena." He cut me off. "Think about it. What's it like when we are together? Do you think about your parents? Do you worry about your future? Do you feel bad about yourself?"

"No." I mumbled and thought it over.

"You put too much trust into someone who doesn't deserve it. It doesn't have to be that way with Dylan forever." I was quiet because I knew he was right. It was different with Damon... I was happy when spending time with him. But how could I rely on him... "You don't need Dylan. Just stick with me, it's all in the past now." His arm wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. I leaned my head against his shoulder and just sat there.

I was about to say something but Damon's phone started to ring so I stopped.

"What?" He snapped into the phone and I could hear a voice that was all too familiar. Why was Jeremy calling Damon? "What do you mean Stefan came by her?"

"I mean Stefan and her are talking right now." I heard Jeremy yell from the other side.

"Stop it. Make him go away. No matter what you do, do not let those two get out of your sight. Go break it up." Damon hung up the phone angrily and put it away.

"Why were you talking about Stefan?" I finally asked.

"He's my brother."

"What!" I didn't know the new kid was even related to him. This just blew my mind. No wonder why he told me Stefan was a creep, he would know. "Did you know he is friends with Dylan? That's just weird."

"Just another reason to hate him."

Damon started the car back up and pulled out onto the deserted road. We started driving for a while again and Damon's arm still was tightly wrapped around me.

"Where are we going?" I said while looking out the window as civilization was slowly coming into view.

" I needed to see my friend." He pulled his car in front of a bar and smiled. "We're here." He said while shutting off the car and getting out. I reluctantly followed and got a good look at the place. "I know what your thinking." My attention as pulled back to him as he was staring at me. "But my friend owns the place so they'll let you in, come on. " He nodded towards the doors and started walking in.

"Wait." I said while running after him. We walked in together and he stopped just short from the bar and looked around. I followed his gaze and it landed on a women pouring shots. When she finally saw Damon, her face lit up and walked around the bar walking towards Damon with extreme confidence.

"Damon Salvatore." She said while not stopping her strut towards him. It looked like she was about to pounce and have her way with him right here on the floor of the bar.

"Bree." He said simply. There lips crashed against each other and they started making out pretty hardcore. I stood there shocked with my mouth hanging open as the fear she might just do what I jokingly thought before. This girl must be in her late thirties. It was... so strange. I didn't think they planned on stopping so I stopped staring and looked over at the bar. There was only a couple people, but I didn't really care. I walked towards the bar and sat down. After my day, I think I was going to need a drink.

I put my face into my hands and sighed. Why am I here? What am I doing? I should be home, working out my problems with Dylan. The last place I should be was here, waiting for Damon to stop mauling that bartender.

"I think she is going to need a shot." I pulled my face out of my hands and saw that Damon was now sitting next to me and Bree was behind the bar.

"Or four." I added and leaned back in my chair. "So how do you guys know each other?" I said while starring at the shot she just poured me and put in front of my face.

"We've hooked up once." He said then downed his shot. "Or twice." He added.

"I just couldn't keep my hands off him. He is really good in the sack, isn't he?" I felt something in my stomach churn and I did my best not to grimace at the mental image I just got of them.

"I wouldn't know yet." I said unconsciously while taking my shot and hesitantly drinking it fast.

"Yet?" They both said at the same time and I realized my mistake. Damon was smirking at me while Bree had wide eyes.

" I said that wrong..." I trailed off and tried to find better wording. "I mean, I didn't know that." That really didn't sound any better. I wasn't even drunk yet and I was skipping over my words. "I think I need some more." I pushed my shot glass towards Bree and she laughed at me while filling it up.

It wasn't too much longer before the drinks started pouring in and the dizziness started taking over. But I wasn't drunk. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not drunk at all. The bar started getting a little bit more crowded and louder. Damon left me alone to go to talk to Bree about something so I easily started making friends. When my phone started to ring I groaned and answered it.

"What?" I said a little angry at being interrupted in the middle of showing some random guy one of my old cheerleading routine. I then notcied I was getting a little too much like Damon.

"Elena we need to talk." Dylan's voice came from the other end and I was so tempted to just hang up and go back to what I was doing before.

"Who is thissss?" I said feigning ignorance.

"Dylan."

"I don't know any Dylan's." I said and walked off into a more private and quieter area. "Oh wait, unless you are talking about the cheating bastard that was a poor excuse of a boyfriend, then yea, I know one of those."

"Listen Elena.." I couldn't hear the rest as the phone was being pulled from my hands and Damon was taking it away from me.

"Hey Dylan, Elena is a little... preoccupied right now. And she will be for a while. How about you not call anymore, okay? Bye now." He hung up the phone and I couldn't help the giggles.

"Damon he is going to be soooo mad!"

"That was the point." He put my phone into his pocket and I pouted. Why wasn't he giving it back. "You can have it when we get back home."

"Which will be.." I said while trailing off, waiting for him to finish.

"I got what I needed, we should be leaving soon if we want to get back tonight." I frowned at the idea of leaving.

"But it's like we just got here." I whined. "If we are leaving soon, I am at least getting drunk." I pushed past him and walked to the bar while ordering another shot. Bree looked at me funny but did it any way. She pushed the glass towards me but before I could get my hands on it Damon appeared and took the glass and drank it himself.

"You're not drinking anymore. I don't know if you noticed, but you are already drunk you little lush." He said while laughing and dragging me away from the bar. "I do not want you getting sick in my car." He was dragging me towards the door and as we were leaving we were passing a now open pool table and I stopped walking.

"Wanna make a bet Damon?" That got his attention as he turned back to me and his eyebrows rose. I took that as a yes and nodded towards the pool table. A smirk appeared on his face as he walked to the table on leaned on it.

"If you win?" He asked as he grabbed a pool stick and handed me one.

"We stay the night here. I get to drink as much as I want and so do you. I saw a sign for a motel down the road. If you win, we get to go back."

"When did you become the fun one and I the responsible one?"

"I think it switched over when I started drinking all your shots. " I said seriously and halfway joking. "Lets play." I said while smiling and moving towards the table.

It was a very close game as Damon and I were tied the whole way. It was my turn and I only had to get the last ball in and I won. I had a feeling Damon was letting me win because he had chances to win and accidentally messed up a lot of times. But I wasn't complaining. I took my turn and easily knocked the ball in.

"Yea, suck it Damon!" I jumped up and down then went over to him. "Are you going to cry now?" I joked and made a sad face.

"As you can see I'm terribly upset about it." He smiled and looked me up and down. I smiled back then snapped out of it. I quickly ran to the bar and leaned on it.

"Hey Bree, I got her attention and she came over to me. "Can you give us a bottle of something...yummy." She laughed at me then brought something out from under the counter. She brought it out and I went to grab it but a hand shot out before I could.

"I'll hold on to that." Damon appeared on the side of me. "We'll be back tomorrow and I'll pay for everything." He said while taking my hand and leading me out of the bar. I never would of thought I'd ever be in the situation I was in right now. I didn't care how wrong it was, or how out of character tonight was for me.

"Motel time!" I said happily and started running for the place and dragged Damon behind me. Tonight was going to be... interesting.

_**AN: This chapter was fun to write but I hope I didn't stray too far. Tell me what you think.**_

_**And I don't think I mentioned it on this story yet but I have a twitter so if you wanna check it out go ahead. Link is in my profile. **_

_**Review!**_


	10. Find me space inside your bleeding heart

_**AN: So I thought I would give a brief summary of the past chapters just to refresh your memory. I know it's been a long time in between chapter and info can get lost or you may have forgotten stuff. I know I do all the time while reading other fics. **_

_**Elena and Damon know of each other and go to high school. Damon keeps tabs on Elena simply for the reason that she looks like Katherine who he is trying to get out of the tomb. Damon is dating Caroline just because he doesn't want her mother to suspect anything of him. Elena is dating Dylan because he's mean and she likes it(sorta). Damon and Elena become friends. Stefan shows up at a car wash hinting that he has his own agenda and knows about Elena. Damon turns Vicki into a vampire and Stefan shows up killing Vicki right in front of Jeremy. Damon tells Jeremy all about vampires but leaves out certain details. Damon gave Bonnie the necklace with the crystal on it, that opens the tomb. Bonnie gets a bad vibe because he's a vampire so he has Jeremy trying to convince her to trust Damon. Stefan finally gives away that he wants to open that tomb also. Elena finds out Dylan has been cheating on her, which Damon already knew. Damon goes out of town to see Bree to see if there is another way Stefan would be able to open the tomb and brings Elena. They get drunk and are now in a motel:) **_

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* * *

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_**"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."  
-Mother Teresa**_

_**Elena POV**_

I giggled as I bounced on a rock hard bed. Damon was sitting in a chair in front of the bed and we've been talking for a good amount of time now.

"You know I don't get it." I grabbed a pillow from behind me and put it in my. "Did I do something wrong?" I started futzing with the pillow. "I mean am I not pretty enough? He said I needed to give more effort maybe I-"

"Uhhh shut up Elena. You are beautiful." He cut me off and stepped up from the chair and walked towards the bed. I ignored the flutters of my heart when he said beautiful.

"Maybe I wasn't a good kisser. Or maybe I didn't satisfy him enough that he had to go find it somewhere else." My words were a little slurred. Damon flopped down onto the bed face first making it bounce a little. I've been chatting his ear off for the last hour and I'm sure he was getting tired of it by now. "I'm sorry. When I drink I don't know how to shut my mouth and my thought just spew out."

"It's fine Elena." He turned onto his back and looked up towards the ceiling.

"Can I just ask you one last thing?"

"I doubt I could stop you."

"Ok." I shifted my body so I could see him a little better. "You are an asshole."

"Thanks." He replied sarcastically. "That wasn't a question."

"I wasn't finished." I shoved his arm while pouting then kept going. "As I was saying. You are a mega, gigantic, enormous dick! So why do you do it? Why do you do that to Caroline?"

"Elena I don't think this will help anything."

"Don't do that Damon. You haven't lied to me before. I know all your dirty little deed's you do behind everyone's back. So don't play me a fool. If we really are friends then you can just give me this." I begged and scouted closer to him. "Please?"

"Elena I don't love Caroline. I do it because I can. It's really that simple." I knew he warned me but I still felt a part of me break inside. That answer didn't really help much.

"That's kind of sad Damon." I mumbled and looked at my hands that where still playing with the pillow in my lap. "I still think it's because I can't kiss. I'd rather think that." I tried lightening the mood as best as I could.

"Well lets see." Damon sat up with a sort of excitement in his eyes.

"What?" I was kind of confused.

"Kiss me." He said simply and my stomach did flip flops. I actually kind of liked this idea.

"But you are Damon. Damon the friend." He laughed at me and just shook his head.

"I'm also Damon, Damon the guy. The guy who will tell you if you are a bad kisser or not." I knew I wasn't a bad kisser but I suddenly grew nervous and my curiosity got the better of me. What would it be like to kiss Damon? I decided to stop over thinking things and leaned in closer.

"Only a peck."

A smile played at his lips as I sat up onto my knees to be on the same level as him. I slowly brought my hands down to rest on his shoulder and leaned down. I gently placed my lips on his. It was only a second then I backed out. I didn't like how much I liked the small intimate kiss we just shared. I let go off him and went to turn away when his hand wrapped around my arm forcing me to turn back to him. Our eyes made contact and we both just stared. He was suddenly pushing me down flat against the bed and leaning over me. His body was pressing against me, pinning me against the bed. His smooth soft lips were on mine just as fast. It wasn't a simple kiss like before. It was passionate. I didn't have to think about anything as my body was able to react to him in every way as if it was instinct. I knew how to throw everything he gave me right back at him. There was something between us that felt more natural then anything I've ever experienced. Not with any other guy had I felt this way.

"Wrong... So wrong." I said while gasping for air.

"But it feels soooo good." He mumbled against me as he left a trail of kisses from my neck down to my collarbone. I felt his fingertips brush the exposed skin on my stomach. He left goosebumps everywhere he touched and I wanted to just melt into him but I couldn't.

"Caroline. I can't. I'm not that kind of girl." I tried pushing him off me but it didn't work in till he complied.

"You already know how things are with Caroline." He said it as if he was justifying what just happened. That didn't make this any more right and he knew it. He just didn't care "I wont be with her for much longer." He said in a whisper. I wasn't sure if he really wanted me to hear that or not.

"Then why do you prolong it? Just end it? It would save a lot of heartbreak."

"Go to sleep Elena. We got to get up early tomorrow or your aunt will freak." He turned away from me basically signaling that this conversation was over. All I wanted was answers. All I wanted was to know what was going on in my heart. I didn't know what to think and Damon wasn't helping. He was just making bigger dilemmas in my plans. Damon was too closed off. He was honest but he never volunteered information. New goal. Crack Damon Salvatore.

I shut my eyes and hoped morning would come fast enough.

* * *

The next morning we were in the car by six a.m. and I felt like death. I was thankful the sun wasn't all the way up yet but I stole Damon's glasses just to be prepared for later.

"It's way too early." I grumpily got into the car and placed Damon's leather jacket over my legs trying to get warm. The morning chill didn't even seem to affect Damon as he slid into the car. I'm sure I looked like a mess. I knew my makeup was draining down my face and my hair was so knotted I had to put it into a loose bun just to tame it a little bit. I kept telling myself I shouldn't worry what I looked at. It was Damon. I could care less if I looked like shit around Damon. But after last night I felt a little bit more self conscious around him. I wanted him to think I was pretty at all times.

We started driving down the deserted roads into the middle of nowhere. There was mild awkward tension between us and I didn't know how to get rid of it. I was a tad scared to open my mouth. After a hour of silence I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Damon?" He didn't respond back but looked in my direction. "Have you ever been with a girl, that you didn't betray?" I expected him to say something back. Damon always has an answer for everything. But all he did was turn on the radio and look the other way. I guess he answered my question.

The whole back was filled with silence. I had a long time to contemplate my decisions. I still had no idea what was going to happen between Dylan and I. I knew it would be terribly stupid to go back with him. I didn't want to. So maybe I wouldn't...Maybe I could put my trust in Damon like he asked me too. It was just hard because he was so open about how he's never stuck around. What makes me think just because we were only friends he wouldn't bail on me like all the other girls?

I had trust issues. Clearly.

We finally rolled back into Mystic falls and it was around noon now. Damon pulled up to my house and I felt a pang in my chest when I wasn't going to be able to spend more time with Damon. I realized I was going to miss his presence. Even if it was just for a little bit. I got out of the car and was surprised when Damon started to follow me inside. I opened my door and stopped right before walking in.

"You know, you never actually told me if I was a good kisser or not." I leaned against the door frame while smiling at him.

"Maybe you should refresh my memory." He stepped forward and was only a couple inches away. When he cupped the side of my face I felt the anticipation of the familiar way his lips molded against mine. To say there were butterfly's in my stomach would be an understatement.

"Elena?" I felted Damon tense up and let go of my face as Jeremy's voice came from the top of the stairs.

"I'll come back later tonight." He whispered in my ear and walked out the door. I took a huge breath and walked into the house closing the door behind me.

"Hi, Jeremy." I walked up the stairs and stopped at the very top to see a serious look plastered on his face.

"I need to talk to you. It's important." I quickly came to the conclusion something bad was going on. "There are things you have to know. I wasn't going to tell you but I realized if you did that to me, I'd be so mad."

"What are you talking about?" I asked honestly confused. I had no idea where he was getting at.

"Just sit down and lets talk."

"Okay." I walked into his room hesitantly and sat down at the edge of his bed.

"There are some things you should know about Damon."

_**AN: So time really flew by and the other day I was like WOW I haven't updated this story in way too long. I have three stories going right now and I'm going to start updating each one once a week. At least that is what I plan. I hope this chapter was alright. **_

_**So do you guys want Jeremy to tell Elena all he knows or keep it a secret? **_

_**Review!**_


	11. Another love I would abuse

_**"Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man."**_

_**~ Unknown ~ **_

Damon POV

"Are you high Jeremy?" I heard Elena yelling at Jeremy from the other room. I slipped into her room right when I 'left'. Jeremy should of been a little bit more quiet when saying my name. I listened to their whole conversation. The little brat told her everything! I could feel myself cringe as he mentioned Katherine and the pure silence that came from Elena after that. But to my relief she thought he was just tripping. Just the extra benefits of having him be a pothead. They've been in his room for hours now, that it was already dark out and getting late but he was not giving up. "I thought you were Damon's friend." Uh. Friend. Gross, I don't have friends. I have acquaintances. I tried convincing myself that's all Elena was. She was just keeping me busy till I got Katherine. Even though if I was being honest, I liked her kisses way too much. I loved the way her little heart beat faster every time I touched her. I loved the way she tried to keep herself composed in every situation. I loved the fact that she could be herself around me and I could actually talk to her without being annoyed. I especially love how opposite she is from me. The way her eyes get a glint in them when she has a good idea or the way her laugh just echoes when she truly is happy. I liked Elena, sure. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't kill her in a heartbeat, right? I mean she's cool but she is just here for the time being. I already planned on Jeremy going bye bye and now he was just complicating things.

"Elena listen to me, I'm telling you this for your own good!" Jeremy was still trying to convince her.

"Do you just not like that Damon is my friend? Is that what this is? I mean did you really think telling me he is some vampire was really going to work? Are you insane!" I couldn't help but laugh. I was surprised this was the way she would react. I didn't think she was so naive but I guess she was a little but more unaware of the dangerous of this town then what was good for her.

"Elena it's the truth. He's just using you! He doesn't want to be your friend!"

"You're lying Jeremy and I'm not going to just let you sit here and say half this stuff. I'm seriously thinking about sending you away to a mental hospital. You are really scaring me about how much you believe your own lies!"

"Fine, but when you end up getting hurt and find out the truth, don't say I didn't tell you so!" I heard a door slam and loud footsteps coming towards Elena's room. I quickly shot up from her bed and hid in the shadows of her room. She walked in and slammed the door.

"Uhh!" I was taken back about how frustrated she looked. Her hair was all messed up from probably pulling at it too much and she looked overly exhausted. I was going to make my presence known when I suddenly stopped when she took off her shirt. "Vampire? Seriously? Vampire?" I watched her carefully as she shimmied out other jeans and then threw them over to a laundry basket. She suddenly disappeared into her bathroom and I heard the shower start to run. Great, my show was over. I came out of the shadows of her room and flopped down onto her bed. I carefully listened to the shower running and tried to keep my thoughts from wet naked Elena that was only a couple feet away from me, with just some flimsy walls separating us.

I shook my head from the thought and looked around her room for something to entertain myself. Her diary was laying literately a foot away from my head on her table next to the bed. It was like the light hit it perfectly making it even more tempting. Before I could stop myself the small book was in my hand, ready to be read. I flipped open to the last entree on saw by the date that it was before she found out about Dylan.

_Diary, I really don't know what to do with myself. Dylan says that he'll love me forever, but I really don't know if forever is what I want if it means being with him. As much as Dylan says he loves me, I can't help but feel that I've never actually been loved. And it makes me scared that I've never been able to love somebody back. How Dylan treats me can't resemble what love is, right? Is that just the way men are? It can't be, I mean Damon is sarcastic and has snotty comments but I doubt he's ever made Caroline feel the way Dylan makes me. Truthfully Damon has become my best friend. When he holds my hand randomly it feels nice and I know that he loves me as a friend. I'm sure he'll never even admit that we are friends. It's like he's scared of the concept. I just wish he would admit it to himself that he cares. Because I care a lot about him probably more then just a friend should. I think there is even a part of me that, dare I say, likes Damon. But I know how ridiculous that is. I guess my life just needs something special, and I realized how special Damon really is. That must be it or I'm going crazy. Crazy must be it, because that's exactly what is to have a crush on Damon Salvatore. _

A smile was plastered on my face and I had to stop reading before Elena came out of her bathroom and caught me. I heard the water stop seconds ago and I knew she would be out any time now. I placed the diary back and waited for her. She opened the door gently and walked out with steam following behind her into her room.

"Hello Elena." She gave a little shriek and grabbed at her towel. I don't think it matters how many times I snuck on people, I always loved their surprised reactions. "Fancy seeing you here of all places, your bedroom."

"What are you doing here?" She said a little breathlessly and start going through her drawers.

"I told you I was coming over."

"That's right. I forgot." I watched her carefully as she expertly put her pajamas on with her towel still safely wrapped around her.

"Impressive." I said as I pointed out her pajama skills. "Are you that good at taking your clothes off?" She rolled her eyes like I knew she would and laid down next to me on the bed. "What's wrong?" I asked even though I knew everything her brother told her was probably rushing through her head.

"Something my brother said." She mumbled and turned onto her side to look at me. "Damon tell me about the girl that's got you so messed up."

"What?" Out of all the things she could of asked in that very moment, I wouldn't of guessed that would of came out of her mouth.

"I've mentioned that someone has left a mark on you and you never denied it."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes. You already know all my problems. It's not a friendship if you don't think you can talk to me about things too." There she goes again with that word; friend.

"She was pretty amazing. She knew how to make you laugh and she knew how to push your buttons at the same time. She was your definition of perfect but once you got to know her you realized she had some bad habits. It just made me want her even more. My brother and I fought for her affection and she never actually told us which of us she favored most. It turned into more of a competition then anything else. But still there is something about her that I saw in myself and nothing that she had with my brother was going to make a difference with how I felt about her. "

"What happened to her." I looked down at Elena to see tears in her eyes.

"She left. But I'm going to get her back." I watched her blink a couple times forcing the tears away. "Why are you so upset?"

"It's just sad. You clearly love her. I'm jealous."

"Of what?"

"Dylan would never talk about me the way you just talked about her." She sniffled and I smiled down at her. She was so clueless.

"Elena if there is anything in this world that I am sure of is that you will be loved. It's impossible not to love you."

"I don't know." She scooted closer to me and her little hand came up to rest on my chest.

"Darling, your head is not right." She sighed and I could tell she was thinking over my words.

"I love you Damon. In a total friendship way, don't get any ideas." She chuckled silently and I couldn't help but smile. Nobody has actually said that to me before. "I know being my friend scares you, but can you tell me that you love me? Just once, even if you don't mean it." The usually strong Elena Gilbert was falling apart and I didn't realize that it was probably the after affects of what all that Dylan has put her through.

"I love you, Elena Gilbert." I said it without missing a beat. This was getting too much for me. I needed to get out of this tiny room. It felt like the walls were starting close in.

"Thanks Damon." I went to sit up but her little hands knotted in my shirt and wouldn't let go. "Can you stay? Please?" She really didn't have to say anything else as I already knew I wasn't going anywhere after that. This girl had me wrapped around her finger and didn't even know it. I stared down on her and at that moment I could say I was happy. Without thinking I leaned down and pressed a small kiss against her lips then leaned back.

"That isn't something 'just friends' do Damon." Her big brown eyes stared up at me and I didn't know if the reason I hated the word friend was because it didn't apply to me of if 'friend' just wasn't enough when it came to Elena.

"Never said it was." I mumbled back while she gently placed her head on my chest. I absentmindedly stroked her hair. It was so normal but so out of character and I felt right in place. In this moment I knew, I could lay here forever listening to the fragile girl fall asleep.

Right when I was positive Elena had drifted off I heard my phone buzz from my pocket. I reached for it and saw a text from Bonnie. **'I'll do it.' **

_**AN: So Damon and Elena are getting a little mushy:) A little spoiler is that Katherine will be back in this story. Whether she is in the tomb or not. I still haven't decided about that yet. And still remember that Stefan is out there with his own agenda. Do you guys think Stefan really wants Katherine? **_

_**Review!**_


	12. Too much poison come undone

_**"No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks."**_

_**Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley**_

Damon POV

'I'll do it.' Bonnie's text message was going through my head the whole night. For the first time in a century and so on, I didn't know what I wanted. The thought sickened me. I knew if I got Katherine out of the tomb I wouldn't be in Mystic Falls anymore. All the relationships I pretended to have would go down the drain. Elena's and I relationship would seize to exist. That's what bothered me the most. I would actually... miss her? Yea, I would miss her. I would miss her sweet touches, her smell, and the fact that out of everyone, I was special to her. For once, I meant something to someone.

I didn't like these feelings. They were too human for me. I should hate Elena for making me, for even one second, second guess saving Katherine. But I couldn't force the hate I wanted so badly into my heart. The thought of Elena not being in my life anymore scared me. Another emotion I haven't had in years. I feared that when I left, she would move on. She would get married, have some babies, live her life and then die, while I stay the same and thought about her life. I know for a fact thoughts of Elena will be haunting me for the rest of my unbearable existence. But I had to live with that. I had to move on somehow.

_**'Do what?'**_ I texted Bonnie back, just to make sure we were on the same page.

_**'Jeremy told me about the tomb, I'll open it.'**_ I read over her text message repeatedly. There was no excitement in me. For some reason I didn't even get the butterflies at finally being able to see Katherine again. I felt numb. I put my phone back into my pocket, not wanting to deal with it anymore.

"It's a giraffe." I heard Elena's sweet voice from beside me, breaking all the thoughts that were swirling around in my head.

"What?"

"The pictures you're drawing. I think it's a giraffe." I looked down and noticed I was absentmindedly tracing little shapes with my fingertips on the exposed skin of her back.

"Sure, it was a giraffe." I couldn't help from laughing at that just a little bit.

"It tickles." She mumbled from my chest.

"Good tickles or bad tickles?"

"Good tickles." She giggled and I watched as she slowly sat up off me and stretched. She still looked exhausted and I didn't understand how she was up so early. The sun basically just made an appearance. "You actually stayed." She smiled at me with such innocence that I felt suddenly out of place. I really shouldn't be here. "It seems your somewhere far away." My attention was brought back to her once again. She was looking at me attentively. I guess I drifted off for a moment.

"Sorry." I mumbled. I didn't know what to do or what to say. "Elena there is something-"

I was cut off when her lips were on mine and she was suddenly in my lap. This was the first time she's ever made a move and she was making a point of it. It took awhile for me to warm up to her touch and easily comply into her kisses. I was caught so off guard but that didn't last long. I always liked a girl who knew how to surprise me. She suddenly broke the kiss and I listened to the deep breaths she was taking.

"I'm sorry. I d-don't know what came over me." She tried to shy away and get off me but I held onto her thighs and tried to kiss her again. I barely even got to kiss her when she turned away from me. "Wait." Her head slowly turned back to my direction. Her lips were swollen and her bedhead had gotten worse from my fingers ruffling it up. She looked so adorable and then I noticed the confused expression on her face. "What's going on here?" I sighed, knowing this conversation was going to be coming up soon.

"I..." I had no idea what to say to that. I just found out about Katherine, how could I lead Elena on? Should I tell her the truth? "What do you mean?"

"I mean, ever since Georgia, things have changed." She was looking and down and playing with the bottom of my shirt, clearly not too comfortable with the topic. "I don't know maybe I am over reacting but I don't want to lose you as my friend. Things are starting to get sticky and I don't want to make a mistake." She looked up suddenly more confident and for the umpteenth time this morning I didn't know what to do or say. "I mean we aren't really acting how 'just friends' are supposed to act."

"Maybe I don't want to be just friends." The words slipped out before I could stop them. That was the last thing that should of came out of my mouth. I had to think of Katherine. Katherine. Katherine. Katherine. But once I saw the cute little smile on Elena's face I couldn't stop from leaning forward and catching her lips with mine again, trying to steal a couple more kisses before she pushes me away.

"Wait." I stopped, knowing this was going to happen again. "Sticky, remember?"

"Ugh. Trust me Elena, sometimes you just have to go with the flow." I sat up and she slid off me and leaned against the headboard on her side.

"I do trust you Damon. More then any other person in the world, because I know you would never lie about anything to me and you'd never keep something from me but Damon, I don't know about this." I listened to her words and realized even when she knew half of the bad things I've done, she still held me on a pedestal, where I don't belong. I was lying to her. Everyday she went without knowing my secret I was lying. And I didn't want to lie to her. I wanted her to know everything about me even when she really shouldn't.

"Elena there are some secrets that you ought to know. That you actually need to know." I felt her tense up beside me. I didn't dare look into her direction. "Those things your brother said..." I trailed off hoping she would put the pieces together.

"What are you talking about Damon?"

"The things your brother said about me, they were true. He was right all along Elena. I'm just bad news. " I still didn't dare to look at her.

"What, that your a vampire trying to get his true love back?" She said it sarcastically but I could hear the slight panic in her voice. I finally looked in her direction and she was looking at me like I was crazy. "Are you in on it too? Make Elena look stupid or something?"

"Elena. It's all true."

"This is so ridiculous are you guys-" I cut her off and was suddenly above her. I forced myself to think of the blood pumping right under me and the way it would drive me crazy if I had just one taste. Before I knew it my face was changing and I showed her my teeth. I let a hiss escape and the look of fear and disgust was immediately plastered on her beautiful face. I wanted to prove it to her but I may of gone a little too far. I clamped my hand on her mouth when I saw her building up enough air to scream.

"Shhh." I moved my hand away and my face slowly went back to normal. Her eyes were so wide and she looked frozen with fear.

"This cannot be happening." She suddenly bolted up from the bed and crawled over it. I didn't realize what was happening because she caught me off guard. She ran right into the bathroom and slammed the door shut then I heard the click of the lock. I got off the bed slowly, already expecting her to freak out but not to run away.

"Elena!" I stood outside the door and knocked on it lightly. "You have to come out of there. We just need to talk about this." I heard her sob from the other side of the door and I did my best to not just bust through anyway. It's not like I couldn't.

"Go away Damon!" I heard it come from the bottom of the door so I slid down too.

"I'm not going anywhere Elena. You are going to have to come out sooner or later." I sat against the door and listened to her wild heartbeat.

"What do you want from me?"

"Come out so we can talk. Please."

"Just leave me alone. Leave my family alone. Please just go! I don't want to see you." I knew I went about this the wrong way. How else did I expect her to react? I didn't want to leave. I couldn't. I would never get a chance to explain if she didn't let me right away. I wanted her to accept it. I wanted her to realize that it was still me. I was still her Damon.

"Elena, last night you said that you loved me. If you were being honest you would give me a chance to explain!" I was desperate to get her attention.

"That's not fair Damon!"

"I'll be waiting out here when you finally cool off. I'm not going to hurt you. I wouldn't even think about it. Elena if you don't let me explain and show you it's still me, I don't know what I'll do with myself." I needed her to understand. I needed her to accept me. When there was no reply from her I knew I was going to be here for a long time.

_**AN: So, what do you think? Too soon for Elena to find out? I think next chapter we deal with the tomb and Katherine. I'm so excited. Future chapters you are going to just want to punch Damon. Just thinking about what's going to happen pisses me off, and I'm the person who is writing it... Ha, yea I know. **_

_**Review! **_


	13. Beware this troubled world

_**"You build up all these defenses, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, wanders into your stupid life and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."**_

_**Neil Gaiman**_

Elena POV

"So whenever I get mad, I can just chuck a pencil at you and you'll shut up?"

"Yeah, wood kind of freaks me out." I giggled at his response. This whole situation was so fucked up. I was still sitting in my bathroom, not yet confident enough to open the door that separated us. I've been in here for hours listening to Damon talk. It took me a while to respond back but then I started seeing that Damon was still Damon. Just a lot darker then what I realized before. These secrets were a lot to take in. I have decided that I'm in shock and that's the only reason as to why I haven't fainted yet or died from cardiac arrest. The fact that Jeremy knew all about this, really pissed me off. How could Damon bring my family into this? Who else knew? Am I the only one in this town who was oblivious to it all?

"Damon..." I trailed off, really not knowing what to say to him or how to act around him now.

"Elena will you come out?" The thought didn't seem so appealing yet. I still didn't know what I was going to do with this information. I mean, his story was so romantic and so tragic. It was like all the books I have read over and over again, but in real life, it was so much more. There was so many loose ends to the real thing.

"Damon, do you really want to get Katherine out of that tomb? With everything in your heart?" I waited for him to respond but he took a while.

"Yea." He didn't sound so confident and I think he realized it himself. " I mean, yes. Of course I do."

"Then Damon, I'll do whatever it takes to help you get her back. As long as you don't kill or hurt anyone anymore. And if you do Damon, I won't give you a second thought. I'll be done with you for good and I'll tell everyone your secret." I gulped back the fear in my voice, knowing if what Jeremy said was all true, I would be disposable enough to him. I wouldn't even get a chance to scream if I decided to tell. I'd be dead, the second a betraying thought crossed my mind. But for some reason I still hoped that this whole time, what Damon and I have been doing, is worth something. That this whole charade of friendship actually meant something to Damon like it did to me. It may just be wishful thinking but at this moment it was all that I could hold on to. All that I could possibly hope for, even if it was unrealistic.

I slowly stood up from my position I've been in for a long time now. My hand gently came to the door nob and twisted. The moment I heard the lock pop I held my breath and pushed the door open. I didn't know what I was suspecting but when I came face to face with Damon looking so innocent, I didn't know what to do. This whole thing didn't seem real when he gave me that look. I swear at that moment I would of forgotten all that he just told me and went on pretending to never of heard a word, as long as he'd still be around.

"Are you okay?" I focused on his words and really didn't know how to answer. Was I okay? Should I be okay? What kind of person would I be if I was still his friend. I mean, you are who you associate with, right? Damon stepped forward with his hands out in a comforting matter but I immediately stepped back, still wanting some distance.

"I should be scared of you."

"You are scared of me." He looked down at his hands and if I didn't know him so long I wouldn't of caught the sadness in his voice. "I shouldn't of told you." I didn't want him to regret this...

"No, Damon. I should know. It explains a lot."

" Like what?"

"Like why you're so guarded. Why, when you talk about Katherine your vague. Why you're never honest, but for a long time I thought that was different with me. What about Caroline Damon? You can't just mess around with girls hearts. Do you even know how you affect them?"

"How do I affect you?"

"You don't." I added quickly and folded my arms in front of my chest.

"Elena, I know you better then you know yourself. I know when you are trying to shy away from something, you do this." He reached out and grabbed my arms, forcing them to go back to my sides. It was the first time I let him touch me without flinching away. "And I know when you're lying."

"I'm not lying. Don't forget, you're the one who kept the biggest secret someone could keep, from me."

"That's not fair. How could I tell you?"

"The way you just did." I let a smile slip and I couldn't help but laugh at this situation.

"So what does this mean?" He said while still holding onto my hands.

"Lets go get Katherine." I smiled up at him but when his eyes reached mine, there was no joy in them. I pushed past it and then dragged him out of my room.

* * *

"So all you have to do is recite the spell with the medallion in your hands and the tomb opens?" I sat at a table with Bonnie, Jeremy, and Damon. We were going over the ways to get Katherine out of the tomb and this was the way they decided.

"Yes, it won't take much power from me and the way the spell is set up the tomb should just open." I thought over this and then realized something crucial.

"What about all the other vampires?" I started to panic at realizing we didn't think this through.

"It took the comet to let the crystal be able to unleash them. If none of the vampires get blood they will still be stuck there. Once the lunar eclipse comes around in a couple weeks I can use that to seal the tomb again." I let out a breath when I realized they crossed all there T's and dotted all there I's.

"Don't worry Elena, I wouldn't just let them get out." Damon's hand came around my shoulder and Jeremy gave us an odd look.

"Are you sure you want to do this Damon?" Jeremy glared at Damon and I didn't understand. "I mean you're looking pretty cozy with my sister there." Damon's arm immediately dropped and he stepped back.

"Relax Jer. It's just the way we are." I looked up Damon but he was somewhere else, lost in his thoughts. "Right Damon?" He finally blinked out of his state and nodded.

"Yea, Elena is like a sister to me." I don't know why but that felt like a blow to the chest. I doubt he would kiss his sister the way he kissed me. I really shouldn't care. This is just nonsense.

"Sure." I heard Bonnie mumble. She turned around and grabbed the book that was called a grimoire. I was still confused about what all this stuff was. I mean, Bonnie being a witch? Before my parents accident we would always joke about her being psychic but this was a whole different level. "Let's get this tomb open." Jeremy and Damon walked out of the room but I stopped Bonnie.

"Hey, I know things have been rough with us, but thanks for doing this. Damon really appreciates it."

"I'm only doing it so he leaves. Jeremy promised that once he gets Katherine, Damon would leave town and never come back."

"What?" That couldn't happen! Damon can't leave me! This had to be a lie. Just a lie to get Bonnie to do it.

"Yea, Elena do you really think I'd be okay with letting two monsters just run around our town, killing the people me and you both care about." But Damon was one of the people I cared most about. "Elena, I'm worried about you. He's got you wrapped around his finger and you don't even realize it."

"No, Bonnie I just care a lot about him." I said while I felt tears going to my eyes.

"Elena..." I looked up at Bonnie and let a single tear fall. The moment she saw me her arms wrapped around me. I wasn't used to this. I haven't had a hug from a friend like this in so long. "You love him don't you?" I question caught me off gaurd and I was speechless. I didn't know what to say.

"No." I choked out. "I mean yes, as a friend, of course."

"You know that's not what I meant." She let go of me and backed up a little. "Why are you doing this Elena? Why would you put yourself through this when you now he loves somebody else?" I didn't want to answer her. She had no idea what she was talking about.

"Because he deserves to be with who he loves. Even if it's not me." I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know if I was admitting something to Bonnie or myself. Her arms were once again wrapped around me.

"It's going to be okay Elena. I'll be there for you." I wiped the tears from my eyes and took a deep breath. "Now lets get through this day then we can get a huge tub of ice cream and talk." I smiled at her. It felt nice to have a friend in this horrible situation. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door to Damon and Jeremy who were waiting in the front yard.

"You okay?" Damon said while walking towards me and noticed my tear stained cheeks.

"Yea, perfectly fine." He wrapped his arm around me and I felt him kiss my cheek as we walked towards the car that was going to take us to the cemetery. Hopefully this wasn't my last day with Damon.

_**AN: I was starting to feel bad for Elena. She needs some friends again. I took out a lot too. I thought I made Elena a little too vulnerable. I'm super excited for next chapter so that probably means I'll update soon. What do you think? **_

_**Oh and I forgot to mention this earlier. To me I always pictured Dylan looking like Sebastian Stan. I don't know why, maybe it's because the way he looks just screams asshole. **_

_**Review!**_


	14. I tore the muscle from your chest

_** " There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me. "**_

_**Gretchen Kemp**_

Elena POV

I held on to Damon as tight as I could with my eyes closed as he jumped. We landed with a thud and I didn't open my eyes in till he set me down. I looked around to see us underground. It finally got dark out and the only light that there was, was a huge flashlight that Bonnie set on the ground. The light was facing up, which cast shadows on the wall making everything even more creepy.

"What are you going to do?" I turned to Bonnie and watched her play with the necklace that held the crystal on it.

"I guess I'm just going to say the spell." She clasped her hands around the entire necklace and closed her eyes. I looked back to Damon, trying to read him. He's been really off today, which is a first. I'm used to Damon always being on guard but now he was...almost lost looking.

"Are you okay?" I grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze, trying to signal that he could talk to me.

"I heard you." I blinked a couple times in confusion and gave him a look. "When you were talking to Bonnie at the house, I could hear you." I felt my heart stutter and I immediately let go off his hand and looked down.

"It's not polite to eavesdrop Damon."

"I'm sorry." He said it gently and I could tell he wasn't talking about the eavesdropping thing. "I'm sorry that things couldn't be different between us Elena. I'm sorry that I couldn't be that guy." We were looking in opposite directions and Damon was talking in a way I've never heard him before. He was so detached and monotone it almost frightened me.

"I never asked you to be." I mumbled and kicked at the dirt, trying to occupy myself with something. "You're going to leave me aren't you." I got the guts to say it and Damon's silence was enough of a response that I needed. "I just want you to know, I'll never forget you. You already know I love you." His hand wrapped around mine again and I knew that was the only way Damon could respond. Words never did him justice. "You'll come visit me, right?"

"Yes." After a long pause he finally said something. I knew he wouldn't visit and so did he. I got that when his voice sounded too strong, too confident for the moment. "But when I'm gone you have to promise me something."

"Anything."

"I'm never going to let you settle, don't you ever settle for less."

"What are you trying to say Damon?" For the first time I titled my head towards him and caught his eyes with mine. He leaned down and whispered in my ear so only I could hear.

"I'm less." A tear slipped out when I saw how much emotion was behind his eyes.

"Da-"

"It's done." I was cut off by Bonnie and my head snapped in her direction. I didn't even notice she stopped reciting the spell, or the way that Jeremy was staring at Damon and I.

"It's done?" There was no indication that something changed. No noise, no flames, no nothing. You'd think it be a bigger show.

"Try it out." I watched as Damon stepped forward after Bonnie's words and pushed open a huge cement door. I marveled at his strength and did my bets not to drop my jaw. That's not something you get used to. I watched as Damon carefully stepped into what seemed like a legit hole in the wall.

"Wait!" I said as Damon stepped all the way into the other side. "Damon, you don't know what's in there, what if you get hurt? I'm coming with." I stepped forward but stopped when I saw the look Damon gave me.

"You are to stay there!" He yelled at me and I stepped back a little shocked. Damon never talks to me like that. "Don't let her go in here." He nodded towards Jeremy and Bonnie.

"But Damon..." He gave me one last look but disappeared anyway. I was so worried. This could end up so bad. I tried taking a deep breath and hoping for the best. Damon would find Katherine and get out of the tomb safely. Oh my god... I never prepared myself for when I saw Katherine. What if my heart legit breaks? What am I supposed to say? What am I going to do? Is Damon going to leave me right away? I don't know why but I didn't think of this all before. I was more calm about the situation whenever Damon was around. I think Bonnie must of saw my panic because she was suddenly right beside me. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed my eyes shut, just waiting for Damon to get out of there.

"Do you think he can really see in there without any light." I heard Jeremy talking and I realized his head was poking into the tomb.

"Jeremy move away from there!" Bonnie beat me too it and Jeremy immediately backed up a bit. We stood there for a good couple of minutes but then froze when I heard a growl. It was definitely from Damon and I recognized it, he was frustrated.

"Do you think he found her?" He's been in there for a while now and I just wanted him out. When I heard a yell of frustration not just a grunt I knew something was wrong. "Damon!" I got out of Bonnie's arms and ran for the opening. "Damon!" I screamed into the tomb and heard my voice echo throughout the tomb. I was being pulled back by Jeremy but I fought him as best a I could. My legs were lifted off the ground and my hands were torn away from the cement walls as Jeremy put me on the other side of him.

"I'll go find him." Jeremy said simply and before I had time to react he was gone and took the flashlight with him.

"No!" I yelled and let a sob escape. "Jeremy get back here!" I yelled as loud as I could. What if I lost them both? The two most important men in my life, what if they never came out?

"Jeremy!" Bonnie was right next to me, just as upset. Did I miss something between them?

"I'm going after them." I was about to step forward but Bonnie stopped me.

"You can't. There is no light." I then realized the one way I could see her right then was because of the moon. I'd be going in blind but that didn't scare me.

"She's not here!" I heard Damon yell and that's all it took for me to step over into the tomb.

"I'll be back Bonnie." I ran forward and searched for any light I could manage to see or any noise I could hear. The tomb was more complex then I thought, as there was twists and turns everywhere. My hands were skimming the wall and I could feel the dirt getting under my fingernails. I felt myself stumble as something hit my feet. I tried walking past it but then realized something was holding onto me. I felt the grip tighten and I let out a yelp as whatever it was held on too tight. It felt almost bone breaking.

"Elena!" I saw light and saw Jeremy running towards me. He grabbed a hold of me and started kicking whatever grabbed on to me. "What are you doing here?" He yelled past me and finally the hand let go and he stumbled back. He pushed my forward and I could faintly see moon light. "Go, I'm going to get Damon." I nodded and started heading to the light but stopped when I heard Damon.

"She was supposed to be in here!" He was yelling and sounded so broken. Katherine wasn't here? I felt my stomach drop and I couldn't move. "Just leave me." I heard him say again and I knew I had to find him. I ran towards the light that I saw Jeremy holding and stopped abruptly and took a deep breath.

"Damon." I said simply and his head shot up and he glared at me.

"What is she doing in here?" He yelled at Jeremy and I walked forward grabbing his hand.

"Lets go." I said simply and looked at him. He looked so panicked and calm at the same time it was scaring me. He didn't respond but reacted to my touch as I grabbed his arm. We all started walking towards the tomb and found Bonnie.

* * *

The whole ride back was filled with silence. Silence that I didn't want to fill and also didn't know how. I gently stroked Damon's arm that I hung onto from the moment I found him in the tomb. He was staring off into space and I wanted to help him. I wanted to fix him. We came to a stop and I looked away from Damon to see that we were at the bordering house.

"Jer, can you cover for me, I'm going to stay with Damon tonight." I didn't look away from Damon as I brushed the hair out of his face and tried to fix him up a little. We got out of the car and I dragged Damon up the pathway to the door. He hasn't said word and I couldn't say what was going through his head. When we reached the door I stopped. "I'm so sorry." I wrapped my arm surround him but he didn't respond. I opened the door and pulled him through it too, he felt like an anchor but I didn't mind. I went to help him take off his jacket as I froze when a sudden loud noise came from the parlor. "What was that?"

"Damon?" A strangely familiar voice came from around the corner and I looked at Damon to see him unresponsive. I walked forward hesitantly and stopped when I came face to face with someone. For a moment I thought I was being delusional. I knew it was a long day but my mind was playing extreme tricks on me. There was a sudden blur and I blinked my eyes a couple times. I could swear I just saw myself staring back at me.

_**AN: Tell me what you think and review!**_


	15. You see through my disguise

_**"What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with what we are today."**_

_**William Glasser**_

_**Elena Pov**_

Damon's fingers were running through my hair as I pretended to sleep on his chest. It was the first movement he has made since I forced him into this bed, beside him taking a sip from his drink every so often. I haven't moved from this spot yet and I was pretty sure he knew I wasn't actually asleep. His body was still rigid but his fingers never stopped tangling themselves in my hair. I wanted to so desperately know what was going through his head. I'm sure his pride was hurt but even worse his heart. How could I ever make up for that? How could I fix Katherine's mistakes? I could barely accept the information, so how was Damon going to get over it?

"You can stop pretending to be asleep, I know you've been awake this whole time." I nearly gasped when I heard his voice. He has been so quiet I didn't expect him to talk for a long time. I slowly sat up and turned around on the bed so I was facing him.

"How are y-"

"Don't go there." The words never got out of my mouth before he stopped me. I just nodded and continued to watch him. I almost felt like I was watching a ticking bomb. He was just too calm. I wanted him to yell. I wanted him to throw something. I wanted a reaction. I knew that numb feeling. It would destroy him and I wasn't going to let it eat him away like my parents death did to me. He helped me, I had to do the same.

"You should smash something." I said out loud but it was more to myself. I searched around the room for something breakable and non important. "You need to get mad." I crawled to the corner of his bed and slid off it while scanning his room again. I found an empty glass on a dresser and walked back to him. "Throw it." I held the glass out to him and waited for him to finally take it. He gave me a look like I was crazy and I just smiled at him. I watched him carefully as his eyes left mine and went down to the glass. He hesitantly lifted his hand and just a simple flick of his wrist the glass was out of my hands and I heard the smashing before I even realized he threw it. My head snapped to the wall in shock how fast and easy he broke it. It barely even phased him. That didn't work very well. "Help?"

"No."

"We could find a car or something for you to smash." I just wanted to help but didn't know how. I didn't know how to react to a super old vampire with major girl problems. Is there even a way to comfort them? When he gave a little chuckle I thought the world may of stopped for a moment. It was just a second and a little thing but it was something. "What can I do Damon?"

"You can refill my drink." He held out his half empty glass that he's had for a while now. I grabbed the glass and went to his stash of alcohol he had in his room. Not the healthiest thing I've seen.

"I'm glad you are talking." I said while placing the drink in his hands. "I missed your voice for a while."

"Elena, you should leave." He mumbled in between sips.

"No, I'm not leaving." I couldn't even imagine leaving him at this moment.

"I wasn't asking." He snapped back at me. I was only a little surprised.

"I know that. Damon you can talk to me. I understand."

"Leave Elena." Was all he said and now I was growing frustrated. I wasn't going to let him block me out.

"No. We can talk. You need someone and I'm not going to leave you. You can talk about Katherine." I sat next to him on the bed and took the hand that wasn't holding the glass and wrapped my hand around his. I didn't miss the glare he was now giving me since I mentioned her name. "You don't have to suffer alone anymore."

"Just go already!" He full on yelled at me.

"No." Before I could even let a breath out and say something else the world was turning and I was suddenly staring up at the ceiling and Damon was hovering above me. It took me awhile to realize he flipped us over. I knew this was his only way of getting control so I didn't protest.

"It's getting harder and harder for me to look at you." He said barely above a whisper but he sounded so menacing. It gave me goosebumps even though I didn't understand what he was saying. I clenched on to his hand that I was holding even harder.

"Why?" I croaked out and waited for his answer.

"You look like her. So I need you to go and I need you to never see me again."

"I can't do that." I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "I could never do that."

"I could hurt you at any moment. I want to hurt you . I want to take it out on you." He said and I understood completely. I knew the feeling of blaming everyone else and taking it out on them. That's why I was so lonely and that's why Damon was lonely too.

"I don't care if I resemble her a little bit. It's me and you know you would never hurt me. You promised me."

"And right now I'm keeping that promise. Leave."

"No!"

"Leave now!"

"What are you going to do, bite me?" I snapped at him which wasn't the best move. Bad choice of words. I realized that when I suddenly couldn't see him above me anymore but could feel the weight of his body on me and his hot breath against my neck. It was almost like ever since I found out what he was, I was bracing myself for this moment. For this kind of pain. I was prepared. And I think that just got him more angry as he suddenly stopped breathing so hard.

"You're not even scared." He mumbled against my skin and it sent shivers down my spine.

"I'll never be scared of you." In the blink of an eye his weight was off me and he disappeared. I blinked a couple time and felt the bottom of the bed shift. I leaned up and saw him sitting at then end of the bed, hunched over with his head in his hands. I crawled down and sat next to him. "I get it. I want to be here for you tot take your aggression out on. I'll be that person."

_**DPOV **_

When I felt that tiny hand start to rub my back I almost lost control. How could I let this happened? It felt like a bomb of new information went off in my brain. Katherine was never in the tomb. What does this mean? I never felt more stupid in my whole life. And here there is this beautiful girl trying to desperately make it better. And all I could think about was Katherine . Why is that all I could manage? Would it be bad to say I had a sense Katherine was never in the tomb this whole time? But if I didn't have something to live for, what was the sense of going on this long? I could barley bring myself to accept it.

When I felt Elena's arms wrap around me for the umpteenth time I nearly just exploded. I wanted to be able to explain to her all these feelings. Why I'm so angry and why she needed to leave but I just couldn't get the right words out to explain. I turned my head towards her and almost lost my breath. I knew she wasn't Katherine. I could never mistake the two. She was just so innocent in this way and I liked it. I liked how opposite she was from Katherine. So how could I go around mourning Katherine's betrayal?

I didn't know what came over me but I inched closer to Elena. My eyes flickered to her lips more then once and I could feel her stiffen. I didn't know how she was going to react so I was slow and gentle. My hands slowly raised to cradle her face but her hand reached out and stopped me.

"I will not be your second choice." She inched away from me and I had to blink a couple time from the shock. Second choice? What was wrong with me? I stood up from the bed and got out of that room so fast, I didn't know if it was a human pace or not. I rushed down the stairs and just searched for a place that would distance myself from Elena.

"Damon, we need to talk." I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I automatically assumed the voice was Elena's. I turned towards it not even realizing it wasn't possible for Elena to get down here so fast. My eyes landed on what appeared to be Elena but from the curly hair and different clothes I knew, it was her exact opposite.

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait. I plan on updating really soon. Tell me what you think. **_

_**Review!**_


	16. Your broken spirit is frozen to the core

_**Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love.**_

_**John le Carre **_

ElenaPOV

I crept down the stairs as I heard voices come from the other room. Damon was taking longer then I expected and I went to go check on him but now I realized why he was gone. I heard a voice that sounded a lot like my own talking to him. I brushed off the thought and went to hide right at the edge of the room, where no one could see me and I couldn't see them but had a great hearing range.

"I want you to come with me!" They were yelling at one another and I was now trying to put the pieces together.

"You weren't in the tomb!" I heard Damon's voice again and I realized he was talking to Katherine. I felt my stomach drop as I thought about what was going on in his head right now. And then the guilt set in after I thought about the relief I felt when Katherine wasn't in the tomb. Now what?

"I know, but I wanted you to think I was dead. I didn't want you to open the tomb. I wanted you to move on." I tried understanding her words. If she wanted him to move on, then why was she back.

"You know I couldn't have done that." Damon said in a more quiet voice as he sounded so beat up.

"Yea, but you weren't supposed to ever know about the tomb to begin with."

"Then what do you want? Why are you here?" Damon's started yelling again, which was expected.

"I already told you. I want you to come with me. I didn't want you to ruin your life but now that you know the truth I don't see the point in staying away from each other anymore."

"You just want me to act like this never happened? That I haven't been missing you for so long? I feel like an idiot!"

"I know, but we can fix this. Damon this could be our defining moment. We have eternity to work on this." There was silence after that and I hoped Damon wasn't actually thinking about it. Damon's not that gullible. He was smart, he knew better.

"I..."Damon stuttered and I edged a little forwards right next to the vase of flowers that hid me from their sight. I was about to peek to the other room but stopped when I heard what Katherine said.

"You can't get over me. You wont be able to. Your little replacement just shows that. What, did you think she could be me? Did you think she could take the place in your heart where I belong?" I froze. Was she talking about me? "She's just the girl you occupied your time with. She's pathetic Damon. Poor tragic Elena. What did you do, bond with one another over your sad sob stories? She's below you Damon. She's human!" I felt a huge lump form in my throat. Why was I the center of their conversation? "She may look like me but she will never measure up."

"Don't talk about her like that!" Damon's voice sounded so angry and for a moment I was relieved he stood up for me but the moment didn't last long when I realized, he still wasn't going to pick me. I didn't stand a chance against her. And Damon, deep down, knew he didn't stand a chance either.

I stepped around the corner now, fully showing myself to them. It was a good thing they were too caught up in their fighting because the moment I saw Katherine, I froze. I blinked a couple times trying to understand. How... What is... I felt out of breath while I started at her. I couldn't hear a thing as suddenly all there was, was silence. I saw their mouths moving and looked like they were still angrily fighting but in my head, there was a peaceful silence and I felt numb. I look like her. I don't resemble her... I practically am her, or she's me, I don't know. I blinked again trying to get the blurriness from my vision only to realize there were hot silent tears falling down my cheeks. I then pried my eyes away from the person who was identical to me and they landed on Damon. A whole wave of betrayal washed through me as he yelled at Katherine. How could he do this to me? How could he not tell me!

Without realizing what I was doing my hand reached out to the vase next to me and I grabbed a hold of it, tipping it over. There was a loud smash and then silence as Katherine and Damon's heads both snapped in my direction. I felt so emotionless right now, and I was sure it was written all over my face.

"Elena." Damon said and he took a deep breath. I then watched the sudden knowledge hit him that this was the first time I found out that Katherine was my double. "I can explain!" He tried defending himself but I couldn't help a humorless laugh escape. He quickly shut up and took a step back with wide eyes.

"No." I gave a sarcastic smile to the both of them. "I don't need an explanation." I stepped forward a bit so I was closer to them. "Poor pathetic little Elena gets tromped on again, right Katherine?" I said, clearly bitter. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. I was now mad. I glared at Katherine and she glared right back. "The replacement should get going." I walked past them and headed towards the door that was down the long hallway. I didn't stop my stride till suddenly Damon blurred past me and stood in front of my exist.

"I'm not letting you leave." He was literately barricading me off from the doorway and all it did was make me madder.

"Damon, who the hell do you think you are?" I walked forward and tried pushing him out of the way but he wouldn't budge. I started pushing against his chest and he still didn't even flinch. It was like pushing against a brick wall. My fist began pounding against his chest and I pushed but he just stood there and took it. I felt like my emotions were overflowing and all I wanted him to do was move before I cracked. I didn't want him to see me upset. I didn't want him to know how broken I felt at this moment. When the punching and kicking and all my effort became useless his hands wrapped around mine, keeping them still. I still tried to fight against him but suddenly lost the effort and felt a piece of me break off. My head came down and rested against his chest and my sobs finally escaped. I didn't want this. I didn't want to give him a show but the pain in my chest was becoming unbearable. I just wanted to shout, 'Make it go away'.

"Just calm down." I buried my face into his chest and tried to even my breathing. His arms wrapped around me and I knew how wrong this was. I hated him right now and for some reason I didn't want him to let go.

"How could you do this too me?" I whispered against his shirt and I felt him stiffen. My tears slowed down and we just stood there in silence. I wasn't even thinking that Katherine was witnessing this whole thing. Damon's arms were suddenly not wrapped around me anymore and he held my face in his hands. I blinked away my last tear and looked up at him. I wanted to hurt him so bad. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream and punch at him some more but I couldn't because he looked just as broken. We were broken. And I only felt fixed when I was around him.

My hands wrapped around his and I pried it away from my face. The moment we lost any physical contact I felt a hole in my chest. And I knew whenever I felt empty inside now, was because I wasn't with him. I was so attached to Damon. The worst part was because he was the only one who would just hold my hand and show some concern if I lived or died. I knew that was coming to an end. I knew whatever we had was ending. I couldn't deal with this betrayal and he couldn't deal with letting Katherine leave. We were both going in separate directions. I'll try to convince myself the reason I was so heartbroken from Damon was because I just wanted to belong...to someone...

This time he easily moved out of the way when I pushed him and I ran out of that house as fast as I could manage.

_**AN: You better tell me what you think! I'm really excited to write next chapter because it's really the point of whether Elena and Damon's relationship will fall or get stronger. I think I've wrote the next chapter in my head at least a thousand times! **_

_**And all of you wondering about Stefan, he definitely has a plan:)**_

_**Review!**_


	17. I've been secretly falling apart

**_"You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it._** _**"**_

Elena POV

I sat patiently at a booth in the Grill. I've never felt more conflicted in my life. I wanted to hear Damon out but before I couldn't do it. It's been five days since we last talked and now I finally agreed to see him. It was the desperate pleas in his voicemails he's left and when he said he needed to talk to me one last time before he left, in the last message, I knew I had to see him. There were too many unanswered questions and too many things left unsaid and I wasn't going to let him just disappear on me.

I was still trying to mentally prepare myself for this. I didn't know how I would react to seeing him. I didn't even have to look up to know that Damon came into the Grill. It's like I could feel it in my bones whenever he was around. When he did walk in and sat down across from me the feelings of betrayal, sadness, anger, hope, and utter confusion washed through me. It would be nice to have my heart set on just one emotion but I wasn't that lucky. We both sat there in silence, both afraid to say the first word.

"I don't know how to start." He mumbled, not even looking in my direction.

"You can start by saying sorry, that would be the best." I said a lot more confident than I felt.

"Sorry." His apology was pathetic but I knew it was the best he could do, because he was not used to it. Damon actually being sorry for his actions was a big fat joke.

"How's it possible?" I finally managed out. "How can there be someone out there that is my exact copy? That doesn't happen. I even googled it." I said while leaning back against the booth, waiting for him to reply.

"I don't know. It just happened. I can't give you answers because I don't know them." He said softly and I tried reading him as best as I could. I didn't know if anything he said anymore was true or not.

"Fine if you can't answer that, then please, answer this one question. When you were with me, was it her you were thinking of?" I couldn't even look him in the eye and I think if he wasn't a vampire he wouldn't have caught the whole sentence. "Were you just using me?" I choked out holding back a tear as all there was, was silence. When I glanced up at him I saw him intensively staring at the table in front of us. The look in his eyes showed he didn't even know his answer.

"Elena... I..." He didn't finish, just kept staring down.

"If you are going to hurt me, then do it quickly." I caught the tear that fell down my cheek and tried to keep strong. "The fact that you can't answer me with any sort of confidence just shows you knew you were going to break my heart anyway."

"Elena we are friends, I didn't think-"

"No." I cut him off. "A long time ago we used to be friends, but I'm not sure what we are lately." No more tears were falling as I found confidence in myself. No one was going to just walk all over me anymore. "The sickest and saddest part, is that I had some of the best days with you. A liar. You don't deserve to be my friend, let alone anything else."

"You knew I wasn't a good guy to begin with." His eyes were now cold, as if the fact he had a dark side was enough of an excuse for him.

"Damon we all have dark sides. But most of us don't act upon it cause we are strong. You are just weak and you think being a vampire can make it all okay because you have a reason to be classified as dark."

"I know you are upset Elena, but I'm not good with stuff like this. I know you feel betrayed and I don't...I don't know how to fix this. There is no explanation I can give."

"It feels like you played a joke on me." I said while finally breaking my facade of being tough. "Is this how you wanted it to be?"

"You know I never wanted this!" He was now abrasive and in the back of my mind I was happy he finally was approaching his own feelings instead of saying he couldn't fix it. "You know that this blew up in my face! I liked you. Hell, I couldn't control myself around you. But this..." He motioned between us. "Was a huge mistake. I shouldn't have ever talked to you. This is all my fault, I get that. You are literately driving me crazy telling me all this stuff because I can't do anything about it! I can't make you happy! And that fact makes me hate myself! I'm sorry for what I did to you and I'm sorry I can barely look you in the eye but I can't control this."

"I could have been happy." Was the only think I could say after that. "You could have been happy too. I honestly believed in you Damon but now... I can't manage to even acknowledge anything you say because to me, you are lying through your teeth. That promise you made to me, to never hurt me, came to an end a long time ago. The moment you kissed me, the moment you told me your secret, the moment that you told me never to settle, was all just leading up to this. Everything you did and said was there just to break me."

"You knew who I was when we became friends, you knew about Katherine and you knew I couldn't give you anything you wanted."

"Yeah, I know you just exceeded to your reputation but I thought there was so much more to you, obviously, I was wrong." I knew that would hurt because he was always telling me he was different. Everything people said about him wasn't how he was, but that was just another lie. "When are you leaving?" I said after a minute of silence.

"Soon."

"Well the earlier the better. I don't want you around here anymore."

"So I guess we can't still be friends?" I think my mouth dropped at that. Was he really that clueless? I slid out of the booth shaking my head and grabbed my stuff. I needed to get out of here. I was still bewildered at his comment that I didn't even hear his protests for me to sit back down. I turned away from him and started walking towards the door. "Elena, wait!" I heard him call from behind me which only made me rush more. "Wait!" I only got halfway out to the parking lot and stood near the entrance of the grill. "What do you want from me Elena?"

"I want to be your first choice! I want to be your favorite!" I turned around and yelled at him. My sudden escape to my car was forgotten as the look on his face softened and all that appeared was shock. "I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world, why you were changed and brought to me." I said a little bit calmer. "I want my smile to brighten your day, the way yours does to me. I wish you needed me as much as I need you. I wish your heart would break if I wasn't around. I wish without me you would lay awake at night." I felt myself break as a tear fell down. "Basically, I wish you'd love me back." I could tell by the look on his face he wanted to say so much but the words weren't coming out. I just shook my head at him and turned back to my car and quickly dashed away.

"So you are saying you love me? How was I supposed to know?" I only got as far as to my car when he suddenly appeared again.

"How did you not know!" I stopped trying to unlock my car door and turn to him and yelled. "You knew when I told you I loved you before, it wasn't just platonic! You knew I wanted you! Don't act like you were oblivious this whole time. Don't act like every time we kissed, was only because we were bored. You and both know, there is so much more between us." There was a moment of silence as he was so close and I was determined to get what I was saying through his head. "I'm taking your advice Damon, and I want you to go be with her." I let out a breath and just stared back at him. "You were right Damon...you are less." He hung his head and there was a sense of pride when I felt maybe, just maybe, he actually listened to what I was saying. I watched his body turn away from my car and he took one step. Before he could get any further my hand shot out and grabbed a hold of his arm stopping him. "When you come to regret the decision you made..." I leaned into him and stood on my tippy toes so I could whisper in his ear. "Remember, I loved you." And with that I let go of his arm and turned around and quickly finished unlocking my door and got in my car. I looked back at the space Damon was last occupied to see nobody there. I'll be okay... right?

_**AN: I thrive off drama which I'm sure some of you can tell. So Damon is leaving. I must say, he will actually leave and I think my next chapter will be split between what Damon does during the time he is gone and then what Elena does. Things are going to be changing...**_

_**Review!**_


	18. Never thought you'd go break the chain

"_**It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head."**_

_**-Sally Kempton**_

Elena POV

Things have been different around Mystic Falls. The days have felt almost empty without my bestfriend. It's been thirty-seven days. Thirty-seven long, hard days since I've seen Damon. And I may be miserable sometimes, but I'm different now. I'm not letting the fact he left, eat me up, the way my parents death did. In fact, when he left, something switched in me. A couple days after he left, there was a spark that went off in my brain and I decided, I was tired of wallowing. I was tired of being the outcast I made myself to be. And then since that day, I felt me again. Not the me that I was around Damon, but the me I was before my parents died. Sure things are still different. I'm not out partying with my friends every night, I'm not ditching school or anything like that. But I realized I could be happy, even when at times I felt heartbroken.

Caroline and Bonnie easily came back into my life. It was almost like they never left and were just on hold for a while. Caroline though, she was acting very strange around me. It was as if we weren't just fighting every day. I think when her and Matt got closer, she didn't mind that Damon and I got closer either. Apparently Damon and her never actually broke up, which I wasn't surprised. Damon didn't need to tie up loose ends now that he had Katherine. In Caroline's mind, he just skipped town, but Bonnie and I knew better. Caroline even told us about how he stopped by her place and told her he was leaving, that's how I knew he was officially gone, and the fact when one day I came home from school and I found a letter on my bed. I never opened that letter but I knew it was from Damon by the way he wrote my name on the back of the envelope . I just knew. That letter sat on my dresser every day and every night, no one was aloud to touch it or see it. I guess you could call me a coward for not opening it, but I couldn't force myself to go through with it.

I don't know why I couldn't open the letter. Maybe it was because opening it, would mean opening myself back up to the hurt Damon put me through. I may be acting like everything was okay, I had my friends back, I wasn't in an abusive relationship anymore and I had a life to live for but, truly, there was a piece of me missing that Damon had with him. And now I was just hoping there was a piece of Damon that he left with me. That's the only way I could get by, the only way I could get out of bed in the morning and do my best.

I was sitting at the Grill with Bonnie, Caroline and oddly enough Stefan and Matt. Stefan has been hanging around a lot lately and I actually didn't think he was too bad. Damon said all these horrible things about him but I wasn't too sure anymore. He was nice but it still didn't help the aching hole in my chest when there was only one Salvatore around.

"So what are you doing tonight?" I asked Caroline as she sipped away at her soda.

"I don't know, what are we doing tonight?" She turned towards Matt and gave him a huge smile. I was happy she had Matt, even if it was for selfish reasons. No more Damon chatter coming from her. I was getting so annoyed with her constant questions. Where is he? Where did he go? Elena, don't you know anything about your supposedly 'best friend'.

"Staying in." Matt shrugged and Caroline immediately perked up.

"Staying in." She repeated and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

"What are you doing tonight, Elena?" Stefan's deep voice came from besides me. I didn't miss his flirty smile and I felt myself go into girl mode and think about how cute his smile was, only to be knocked back into the real world when I realized I wasn't emotionally available. Even to look at guys and imagine, it was just too hard. There goes my attempt at being normal.

"After this I am going to the library to study and then Bonnie and I have plans tonight." I said while glancing in her direction. She just simply nodded while going back to eating her food. "We would invite you but you know... girl night." Tonight was actually the night of the Lunar eclipse. Bonnie sure didn't forget about the tomb needing to be sealed which I would of liked to, but it had to be sealed. Stefan didn't exactly know that I knew about him and Damon, and I preferred to keep it that way.

"Would you like to go see a movie tomorrow night?" Stefan asked directly to me and I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to lead him on but we were just friends... right?

"Sounds fun." I said almost on reflex. I didn't mind spending time with Stefan. He didn't bring back bad memories all the time, and even though he brought Damon to mind, sometimes he actually kind of filled a gap of my Damon deprivation. "Well I should get going." I said while standing up and grabbing all of my stuff. "What time do you want to meet up Bonnie?"

"Not till late." I caught her drift and nodded. "Wait, I'll drop you off and pick you up later." She stood up and followed after me.

"Bye guys." We both said while walking out of the Grill.

* * *

Studying only kept my mind busy for a while but pretty soon I was letting my mind wander. I've only been here for a couple of hours and I knew I had to keep focused but it was seriously hard. Bonnie had text me saying the only time we could seal the tomb would be at 1:30 this morning so I had a lot of time to spare. My phone buzzed once again and I pulled out my phone.

_**You have no idea who has been asking around for you **_

What? I can only imagine what this means. I tried to text her back but lost connection and it wouldn't let me send. Figures. I quickly picked up all my stuff off the table and moved to the back of the library. Since it was late there wasn't many people around so I was in a space that I was completely alone in.

Another hour went by and I was so wrapped up that I didn't even hear the chair next to me being pulled out.

"Hello, Miss Gilbert." That voice... Was I dreaming? Was this a joke? I didn't even need to look in his direction to know who it was. I thought we said our goodbyes a long time ago.

"What are you doing here?"

"Ouch. No, I missed you or how have you been?" I just sat there still staring at my book not even glancing in his direction. "Fine, I'll start. How have you been Elena? Miserable as always?"

"No, I've been doing just fine. Now seriously why are you here?"

"I just saw you and decided to say hello."

"This is hardly the place for you Dylan." I said while finally turning in his direction.

"Jimmy had tutoring tonight." I nodded remembering his little brother and realized this was just a horrible coincidence.

"The library is about to close so I should get going." I stood up and put away my books into my backpack. "Tell Jimmy I said hi." I started walking away but Dylan walked with me.

"You know he misses you. Maybe you could come by and see him every once in a while." He walked with me all the way to the doors and I sighed.

"Yea, sure. I always liked Jimmy." He was a lot cuter and nicer then his brother, even if he was only nine.

"And see me as well." He added and my smile dropped.

"Dylan... that's not a good idea. You know we aren't good as a couple let alone friends."

"Just thought I'd give it a shot." I was taken back by his calm attitude. This was new. "I guess you are right. I was kind of an asshole to you." I couldn't help but laugh a little. That was an understatement. "I'll walk you to your car." He said while opening the door of the library for me. Again... this was odd.

"Thanks..." I said a little unsure of myself. We walked out and I looked around the almost empty parking lot and found Bonnie leaning against her car. I walked up to her confused as what she was doing and the look on her face was bewildered when she saw Dylan. "It's not what it looks like." I added quickly before she could say anything.

"Ok, we'll talk about this later but Elena I have to tell you something. Please don't freak out."

"What are you talking about?" Bonnie was acting really strange. She moved away from the car and went to the other side and I saw her dragging someone with her.

"What the hell!" Both of us said at the exact same time. I stared at Damon in shock and he stared back at Dylan with the same expression on his face. I guess we both got a little surprise tonight.

_**AN: So I was going to make this chapter more of what happened in those days they were apart from each other but to tell you the truth I wanted to get them back in the same place already. **_

_**Hope you liked it:) **_

_**Review! **_


	19. have I been telling lies to myself?

**** _**"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."  
-C.S. Lewis**_

_Elena POV_  
"See you around Dylan." I said quickly while rushing over to Bonnie.

"Why didn't you tell me he was going to be here?" I asked her between gritted teeth.

"Elena, I wanted to ask you something." I glanced up to see Dylan still standing it the same spot.

"Just call me or something." I said while not giving much effort but then realizing how the situation would appear to anyone who didn't exactly know how I spent my last month. I slowly turned to Damon to see the most pissed off expression I've ever witnessed on him. He watched Dylan walk all the way back to the library doors and then his head snapped back to me.

"What are you doing with him?" He asked me immediately showing his distaste for the situation. I almost told him it was nothing but then stopped myself. Who is he to just show up like this and get mad about something? He doesn't control my life. He left me. I can talk to whoever I want.

"What are you doing here Damon?" I said ignoring his question.

"Answer me Elena. Why are you still with that asshole? I'm starting to think you like the pain he puts you through."

"Damon will you just shut the hell up?" It was Bonnie that finally stopped our bickering and I could tell she was annoyed with us. "Get in the car and lets go." She said in a stern voice that made Damon and I both shut up. I easily complied and went to go sit in the front seat but saw she had books stacked up. "Backseat." She said simply which made me realize I had to sit next to Damon. Great. We both got in, in silence. Not even glancing in each others direction as we both looked out the window. We started driving for a while and it suddenly hit me that I had no idea why Damon was with Bonnie or even here at all.

"Why are you back?" I whispered while still looking out my window. I know he heard me and I could feel his eyes on me now. I never thought I'd see him again. And I wasn't going to let myself get used to the idea of him being back.

"I promised you I'd make sure the tomb was closed. " I gave a short laugh at that.

"I kind of thought you forgot about me." I said with my eyes still glued out the window.

"Elena the last time we saw each other-"

"That's going to be one of those things we never talk about." I said while cutting him off. I didn't need to relive that. I was doing so well. I got back on my feet and here he was only to knock me down again.

"Okay, you guys I'll be right back. I just have to grab some things. Will you promise not to claw each others eyes out while I'm gone?" We both muttered yea's under our breath and Bonnie left us alone. For a while there was dead silence and I knew Damon was bound to break the moment of peace between us.

"So... Dylan."

"We aren't together." I said while crushing that idea before it formed. He let a bitter laugh escape and then went quiet.

"You could have told me that sooner. You know I'm the jealous type."

"I'm never getting back together with him ever again. The one good thing you did when leaving was giving me back my self respect. You forced me to become strong. I guess I should say thank you."

"What all happened when I left?" He asked after a moment of silence. I finally turned to look at him which wasn't the best idea. I still didn't want admit he was actually here.

"Well Jeremy and Bonnie are now dating, thanks to your match making abilities. Umm, your ex girlfriend is dating Matt now. You are known as a high school drop out around here and-"

"I meant with you." He said while cutting me off. "I expected you to be dating some high school jock."

"I'm happier to be alone." I watch him nod his head even though we both knew that was bullshit. I was miserable.

"Listen, about the letter I left you. I said some things that probably really confused you since I left."

"I didn't read it."

"What?" He almost yelled and I think only I could have caught the little bit of hurt behind it.

"I didn't want to open the letter. So I didn't." He didn't say anything after that. I assumed he was grateful because he obviously regretted whatever he said. I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

"I know you are saying you are different now. But I'm not blind and I know there is still pain inside you even if you don't show it to anyone else. And it's partially my fault. I shouldn't have left you."

"You could have called." I said and my voice cracked. I sounded weak and I was mad at myself. I always promised myself that if the day ever came Damon would never see me cry. He didn't deserve my tears. "You could have wrote, emailed, or texted me. Something."

"I just thought it was better that way."

"Better?" That was crazy. It was worse. It hurt. "Do you even know how bad it hurt that you left to be with her and didn't even glance back in my direction? I may be strong now, but when you left I think I cried for days."

"I didn't kno-"

"No." I cut him. "You didn't. Because you weren't around. The sad part is that I don't even blame you for all of this anymore. It hurt too much to store all that pain in my heart. And I wish things were different. I wish when you left I didn't also lose my best friend, but I did.

"I never wanted this. When I meant you, I wanted something that I still can't grasp, but not this."

"I get that now. You don't know what you want. When you left I used to think that I wasn't enough to keep you around. But then I got, that you're just lost. It was you, not me. And I'm never going back to that depressed little girl again. I'm not lost anymore but you... I don't even know if you care about how messed up you are."

"No. You can't go around saying you are this strong person now because your faking it. Face it, Elena, it's a show. We both don't recognize that smile you got plastered on your face when you're around them. You think you know me, well guess what, I know you just as well." He was mad at me, that much was clear. "What do you think going around and acting like your okay will accomplish? What do you want Elena?"

"I don't want to hurt anymore!" I screamed at him. "You left me and hurt, just like I knew it would!" I calmed myself down and tried to breath it out. We weren't in a good situation. "It's my way of coping. Let me do it without you judging me every chance you get. You've been back in Mystic Falls for what? Five minutes. You don't know everything Damon. You don't know everything about me! It's about time you take a step down and come back to the real world and acknowledge that."

"You don't think I know you?" He laughed in my face which just infuriated me more. " I know you lie awake at night and think how you cant believe this is your life. And you pray every night that somehow your pain will just go away. I know how you just want your life to be remarkable and you're waiting for something special."

"Damon, that was then. Maybe that's how I was then but I know that every moment doesn't have to be so hard. You shouldn't have came back. Bonnie would have don't just fine without you. You ran away and you shouldn't have even thought about coming back."

"I didn't run away."

"That's exactly what you did." I said without missing a beat.

"So did you."

"I did not!"

"Then why didn't you open the letter?" He got me there. I didn't know how to respond and thankfully I didn't have to when Bonnie came busting into the car.

"Wooo. It's cold out there." She said, completely oblivious to our argument. "Okay lets got shut this tomb." She started the car and drove down the road while Damon and I glared at each other the whole way. He had no right to be back here and say those things to me. He should have just stayed with Katherine, wherever the hell she was. He can't keep coming around and messing up my life like this.

* * *

The rest of the night was filled with awkward silences and glances between Damon and I. When we got the cemetery Bonnie and Damon went down by the tomb door and did the spell while I waited for them. Tonight didn't go at all how I expected it to and now all I wanted to do was go home and curl up in my bed. When they finally appeared back by me Bonnie looked exhausted.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked while looking her over. "Yea, that spell just really took it out of me."

"You can just stay over at my place tonight so you don't have to make the extra trip." I said while us three walked back to her car.

"Okay. But what time is your date? I don't want to be in the way." Oh Bonnie...

"Excuse me?" Bonnie's eyes went wide when we heard Damon. For a moment we both forgot he was there.

"It's not a date." I said to both of them. "It's just too friends seeing a move together."

"Sorry." Bonnie mumbled, clearly for opening her big mouth around Damon.

"Whose the guy?" Damon said still in his serious mode.

"St-"

"Steven." I finished before Bonnie could say Stefan. That would be disastrous.

"Yea, Steven." Bonnie said in a high voice when we finally reached her car.

"I don't like him." Damon said with a snarl on his face. I resisted the urge to say you don't even know him but stopped myself. Now what was going to happen? Was Damon going to disappear? "Elena, I would really like to talk to you... alone. Can we talk tomorrow? After your date?"

"It's not a date but sure. You can come over tomorrow. I'll text you when I'm done."

"Alright, I'll find my own way home." I turned back to the car not really comprehending what Damon said till I turned around and saw he was gone. For once I didn't feel so off balanced, probably because I knew, I'd actually be seeing Damon again. Even if it was for one last time.

_**AN: Sorry for the wait. So this story is ending but I don't know how many chapters are left because I haven't actually mapped out the ending yet but I do know it's going to end soon.  
**_

_**Review! **_


	20. Entangle me in hopelessness

_**Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.**_

_**-Robert Frost**_

_**Elena POV**_

"Want to get some food first?" I rushed around my house, looking for my sweater as Stefan stood in my doorway.

"Sure. I'm starving." I said while finally grabbing my sweater and then joining Stefan. We decided to go to the Grill, as if there was a lot of other choices. I kept telling myself this wasn't a date. I didn't think it was, and I hoped neither did Stefan, even though everyone around us kept saying it was.

The Grill wasn't too busy tonight and I was grateful. I didn't need everyone around town thinking it was a date either. We were about to go sit down when I froze. This couldn't be happening...

_**Damon Pov**_

I was innocently spending my time away from Elena when I sensed her. Here I thought she was going to be on some date and she just happens to find herself exactly where I was. I was trying to drink the thought of her with some other guy away from my head but when she walked in it was inevitable I had to see the exact thing. I turned in the bar stool and overlooked the entire Grill. My eyes easily found her and I could tell she was immediately uncomfortable. I gave her a smirk that immediately disappeared when I saw exactly who 'Steven' was. What the hell was this? Without thinking, I was suddenly walking straight up to them.

"Stefan." I was staring at Elena, and I could tell, my face probably looked betrayed when in reality, I was just mad, madder than I've ever been. Has there been something going on between them when I left? Did she like him? Did they have a 'special connection'. "Can I speak with you?" Stefan didn't even get a chance to mutter a word before I had his shirt in my hands and dragged him away.

"Damon? What are you doing?" Stefan pulled my hand away from his shirt and we both looked around to make sure no one was watching us.

"What are you doing with Elena?"

"What does it matter?" He was looking everywhere but me and I knew something was up. "You left her, she is fair game."

"No, no she is not. You don't get to touch her, you don't get to look at her, you might as well not even breath by her or I'll make you regret it." As I was speaking Stefan's face turned from calm to defensive.

"She is not yours Damon. You left with Katherine. If I want to take Elena out, I will."

"What about Katherine? Weren't you head over heals in love with her not only a month ago?"

"No, Damon." Stefan rolled his eyes, which only made my fire of hatred towards him burn even more. "Katherine's love for me was never real. I was compelled the whole time. I never wanted her again."

"No. You wanted her! We fought over her!" I couldn't wrap my brain around it.

"I just wanted you to think that, okay?" He looked fed up with the whole ordeal but I wanted answers. "I didn't want Katherine at all. I wanted Elena."

"What?" This was wrong. "How could you want her? You didn't even know her!"

"The day her car went off the bridge, I was there. I pulled her from the water and saw how much she looked like Katherine. I didn't understand it, so I started following her."

"You stalked her!"

"No, I was just curious and then I started to get to know her and I knew I had to officially meet her and then... you came in the picture. So I thought if I convinced you I wanted Katherine... you'd back off."

_**Elena POV**_

There was a ruckus behind me and I immediately turned around right when I saw Damon punch Stefan right in the jaw. "Oh my god!" I yelled and ran over to Stefan who was laying on the ground. "Why'd you punch him?" I looked up to Damon who was clearly enraged.

"It's okay Elena." Stefan stood up as if he wasn't just knocked onto the floor from such a powerful hit. I stood up as well and looked between Damon and Stefan.

"Maybe we should go Stefan." I tugged at his arm and there was a huge grin on his face as he backed away from Damon with me. Something strange was going on here, but I wasn't going to lie, the way Damon punched Stefan was kind of hot. "Are you okay?' I looked over Stefan's face to see no bruising or anything to show he just got hit, which was somewhat expected.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You know how Damon's temper is. "

"What happened?" Was it my fault? Was Damon mad that Stefan and I were friends?

"Nothing, we just had a little disagreement."

"That's all?" Stefan just nodded but I knew there was something else. "Do you think maybe we could hangout some other time? I think it would be best if we just called it a night."

"Sure." I could tell that Stefan really didn't want to take me home, but I had no effort to fake it through the night.

When Stefan finally dropped me off I went straight for my room. I was exhausted already and I barely even went out for the night. I practically crawled up the stairs and started shedding clothes as I went into my room.I kept all the lights off as I didn't even have enough effort to take off my jeans and flopped onto my bed. Something was off and I looked around but couldn't see anything. I leaned over and turned on a light by my beside and almost fell off the bed in shock.

"Damon! What are you doing here?" Damon was laying right next to me with a total innocent expression in his face.

"I told you I was coming over."

"Usually people knock!" I sat up in my bed and quickly grabbed a sweatshirt to cover myself with.

"Why didn't you open it?" I didn't understand what he was talking about till I saw the letter he left me, sitting on his chest. I knew why I didn't open it. It was the only part of him I had left. I thought opening it would take that away. My logic was messed up but it's the only thing that kept me somewhat strong. But I couldn't tell him this, there was no possible way I was going to reopen myself up to him again.

"I told you, I didn't want to."

"Why didn't you want to?" I watched as he picked up the letter and eyed it.

"I didn't want to know what you had to say." I lied.

"Well I'll just take it back then." I watched as he went to put the letter in his pocket but before he could do so I snatched it out of his hands.

"No!" I moved off the bed and put it in my top drawer, where I had it originally. "It's mine. You can't take it back." I realized I was protecting that letter a little too much when he narrowed his eyes at me. I carefully sat back down on the bed and didn't look at him.

"Does that mean you are ever going to read it?"

"Why don't you just tell me what is in it?" I knew he wouldn't do that. The letter was his easy way out. No way would Damon actually say anything that reflected his emotions.

"The letter just basically says how I wished you'd do whatever it takes in your heart to push all that happened between us out of your head. I wanted you to forget about me, and that I wasn't coming back."

"But here you are."

"Here I am." He mumbled and finally looked up at me. "Me coming back for the whole tomb thing, it was just an excuse. I wanted to see you. More than anything in this world, I wanted to just see you one last time."

"It didn't have to be that way. You could have just stayed in Mystic Falls."

"You know I couldn't have. That would be... too much."

"You're right. I couldn't have something who looks exactly like me running around. Speaking of Katherine, where is she? Why didn't she come back with you?"

"Right now she is somewhere in New York. I was supposed to be back there by last night but obviously that's not the case."

"Isn't she worried about you?"

"Probably not. It's not the same with her. It's not how I always imagined it would be. I think I just built it up so much in my head and then the real thing didn't compare to what I really wanted."

"What did you really want?"

"I wanted someone who I could be myself with, someone who would be my best friend and someone that wanted me just as much as I wanted them. I wanted someone like you." I tried not to let a bitter laugh out and hold my sarcastic comment to myself. " When I was with Katherine I looked into her eyes begging myself to feel something, to remember the way she made me feel so long ago. I couldn't force myself but I tried to convince myself that this is what I wanted. I was wrong. I don't want to force myself anymore." There was a long pause of silence. "Those are words I thought I'd never say."

"Why exactly are you here Damon? What do you want from me?" I didn't want to be a part of his game. Was he doing this because I was finally on my feet? Did he want me to want him? And when I admitted that I did, would he just leave me?

"I want it all." It was hard to ignore how is words just made my heart want to melt."Nobody understands me like you do. When I saw you with Stefan, and realized you are going to move on, I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you get away."

"Damon..." I tried not to let this all get the best of me. I was starting to feel crowded as if I was standing on a stage with thousands of people watching my every move. I gulped back the lump in my throat and tried to make a coherent thought.

"I'm sorry that I haven't already told you this, but you are the best thing in my world." His words just made it harder to breath as the walls were already closing in on me. "I'd give you everything I got, the good and the bad, even though, there is a lot of bad. Elena I lo-"

"Don't!" I cut him off before he could speak the words I thought I wanted to hear. I didn't. I didn't want to hurt anymore and this would only cause pain. "Don't you say love me."

"Why not?"

"It would be so fake." A single tear escaped but I did my best to keep myself angry.

"I want to say it." I had to look away for his pleading eyes as they were becoming to much for me.

"I wouldn't believe it anyway."

"No, Elena. You have to listen to me." He grabbed my hands and took them in his. "I know you. I know you used to wait around for something special. What we have something special. It's exactly what you need the same way I'm going to need you."

"I think you should go." I couldn't deal with it all. It was too much for one night.

"You and I are inevitable. Remember, you wanted me."

"Please Damon, just go." I started pushing him off my bed, hoping he would just leave. "I'm too... raw for this right now. I can't deal with you just coming back here and switching up everything I've been trying to build for myself."

"You really want me to go?" I wanted to look away from his pained face but I couldn't. It hurt to see him hurt, but I was being selfish for a reason. I was protecting myself. I needed to do this, for me.

"Yes." I watched as he walked to my bedroom door very slowly. His hand wrapped around the door handle and I thought he was actually going to leave till he turned back to me.

"I know the same way I love you, you will always love me no matter what. There is no changing that now. If it's time you want, I'll give that to you because, I know, you'll wake and realize you need me too." I looked up trying to meet his eyes but he no longer stood in my room. There was an odd draft and that was it. I had a lot to think about, and even though I'm pretty sure I already knew the outcome to this, for some reason I was still questioning it. Did I really want to put my heart through this again? Was Damon Salvatore worth it?

I really wish I didn't already know my answer to that.

_**AN:So sorry for the long wait! I think only one more chapter? I'm not exactly sure yet. I hope you liked it and it wasn't too rushed. Oh and sorry for the mix of POV's. I usually hate doing that with one chapter. **_

_**Review:)**_


	21. Farewell the Ashtray Girl

_**"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." **_

_**- Aristotle **_

Elena POV

It's been two days since I've seen Damon. I've been trapped in my head and I wanted to just scream. I knew what I had to do, what I needed to do. But I couldn't push past the insecurities and doubts I had. It wasn't Damon's fault for these feelings, it was my own. I knew I was fucked up. I knew that there was something emotionally wrong with me after my parents died, but I also knew, things didn't have to be like that with Damon. He was my chance, but it came at a cost. Being with Damon would be the most serious and intense relationship, I would ever experience. Was I mature enough for it? Damon is technically an old man, who has probably been with and have met some amazing people. Would I be good enough? What if he got bored?

Only in the back of my head did I realize that there will always be 'what ifs' in any relationship. There will always be a possibility that I will fall on my face. But isn't that exactly what love is? Taking a chance on someone you know can destroy you and putting that trust in them? Isn't that what builds the strongest relationships? Overall, it's what I wanted. And that nagging feeling that I was wasting time wouldn't go away. I knew what I wanted. I knew who I wanted. Now I just needed to know how to be brave enough to go out and get it.

I was walking around the town, looking at some shops and walking past the Grill when I froze at seeing the exact person who has been in my thoughts all this time. I stood still on the sidewalk not knowing whether this was a sign from God to make a move, or a chance to run away. I wanted to face my problems head on, but I necessary want to face Damon head on. Maybe he would be mad at me for denying him. But did I actually tell him no? He said he'd give me time and even though it had only been two days, I felt it was enough. I knew where my heart lay and I knew it was impossible to just forget all that has happened.

With a sudden surge of confidence I quickly walked over to Damon who was completely oblivious. I saw him eye his car that was across the street when I suddenly stepped in front of his gaze. His eyes went wide and I saw him almost take a step back before he gained his composure.

"Ele-"

"Would you really love me?" I cut him off before he could even fully say my name. "Forever?" I took a deep breath, finally letting it crash on me that this approach may have been a little bit bolder than what I was unconsciously preparing myself for. "I mean, do you really want to love me forever? Am I really worth it?"

"I think you already know that answer." He said while not dropping his gaze as his perfectly blue eyes bore into mine. It should be a little intimidating, but it wasn't.

"You would leave Katherine and forget all about her? For me? I'm just girl, I can't measure up to her. I'll never be able to be her or that fantasy you made up in your head. Just because, it wasn't what you thought it would be like, doesn't mean you have a chance for it with me."

"Katherine doesn't even compare to you. I don't want what I had with Katherine, I don't even want the same things that I did before I opened that tomb. I wanted to tear the world apart with her. I want to experience it with you. I want to live again...with you.`Only you. I think anyone could see how madly in love I am with you." I felt the warmth of a tear slip down my cheek, but it wasn't from being sad. I was just overwhelmed. "Why are you crying?" He he had a small smile on his face while one of his hands grasped tightly to mine while the other wiped away the tear.

"I just... You don't even know how hard I tried to make you fall in love with me." I slowly brought my hand up to rest on his that still rested by my cheek. "I can't believe you actually chose me."

"So does this mean you've had enough time to think some things over."

"When you left I was hurt and I did my best to put myself together but I later found out I could love someone again. But I knew that I could never love them the way I'll always love you. I'm never going to deny that. I wanted to be able to tell you that it was going to be the end of you and me. I wanted to say I couldn't love you, but I know that it's not physical possible for me to do that."

"Elena, you don't know how desperate I've become in these last two days. I just want... I just want you to love me. And the fact that I know you do is just driving me crazy when I have to be apart from you." I couldn't help myself from snicker a little at that. Here, Damon Salvatore actually let his guard down and felt something for just a little seventeen year old girl.

"It's nice to know even the baddest of the bad have their weak spots." I pulled him a little closer to me, while our hands still were locked together. "I'm ready to give you all I got. Are you?"

If Damon actually replied, I would never be able to tell because I was suddenly being wrapped up in an earth-shattering kiss while I was literately being lifted up in the air and into Damon's arms. I hung on to him as I kissed him back and finally felt whole for once in my life. I felt the missing piece of me I've been searching for as I knew, being in Damon's arms was exactly what I've been desperately seeking. I thought I lost a part of myself when my parents died, but in reality I just realized I was never completely whole. I never actually had it all together and their death just made me realize that I was missing something. But now that I had Damon... I was one, I was truly myself.

His quick little kisses just blurred the gap between reality and fantasy as it was utter bliss to be actually connected to someone and myself. For once, I knew I would be happy, because I had exactly what I needed.

"I feel like a big hypocrite for going against all the horrible things I've said about PDA." I said while breaking from our kiss and leaning my forehead against his, not even caring that there was a possibility we were being gawked at.

"Well, you are just going to have to get used to it, because I don't think it is possible for me to keep my hands off you." He gave me one last peck and set me back down on my feet. "Does this mean you chose me over Stefan?"

"You are joking, right?" I said while laughing. We both knew there wasn't even a chance to compare the two, but I could sense it really bothered him that his brother was even possibly in the equation. "You don't have worry about Stefan. There is only one Salvatore I want." I smiled and leaned up on my tip toes to kiss his again. Kissing Damon would never get old.

"Now I'm going to take you home, and show exactly how much I love you. " I started giggling as he wrapped his hand around mine and quickly dragged me across the street to his car.

I don't know why it took me so long to finally admit that I wanted this. All my doubts vanished because there was one thing that I could never deny or second guess, I loved Damon, and he was mine.

_**AN: The End. I love all of you for sticking around and reading this story. It may not be the most popular fic but it was probably my most favorite to write. I want to thank everyone for reviewing and reading, it seriously means the world to me. **_

_**I will be starting another new story soon, along with another one I just started. If you want, check them out. **_

_**Review one last time:) **_


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